An Only Child
by Infinite Number
Summary: Modern AU. Anna is the daughter of two immensely successful, powerful parents and has all the money her heart desires. But she can't bond with them, leaving her with no one to comfort her when she's hurt or laugh with her when she's happy. She's an only child after all... Isn't she? Cover image by the wickedly talented Gabrielle Andhita. To be featured on reddit; check my profile.
1. Anna

Anna's father had had a rough life. He'd made several mistakes in his business and had lost an incredible amount of money, even spending a year in what he referred to as an absolute dump: a small manor. But as a child he had always been quite lucky, and that luck had finally re-emerged; he'd made a wise (yet seemingly desperate at the time) investment in the stock market. He'd made an immense profit, which he'd immediately put towards reviving his earliest business endeavour which he felt had simply been too far ahead for its time. He was right. People flocked to his wares in droves. He'd expanded his horizons, calling on all his knowledge. Suddenly, he'd started up a second business with just as bizarre a premise. That worked too. In a matter of years he'd risen far above his friends and family. If someone asked him for his secret at a party however, he'd simply call his wife over, wrap an arm around her waist and tell them it was all her doing; his drunken proposal to her had been the silver lining he'd been waiting for. She'd blush and chastise him gently: hadn't he proposed after his success? He would chortle and agree, then remind her that it was she who kept him sharp for the twenty odd years they'd been together since. He was a highly competitive man. Possibly even _too_ competitive. For the past two years especially, away from the bright lights of ballrooms and the dim lights of meeting rooms, men and women would gather and murmur in hushed voices of the terror that was Agdar of the Arendelle family.

Anna's mother had fewer fears to keep her up at night. Not because she was better at avoiding mistakes or confrontations (although she was) but because she simply hadn't needed to make them. It had been a point of pride for her in her youth that she had been quite respected and successful before meeting Agdar, although she would admit that her husband's wealth and reputation far outweighed her own. But that didn't worry her in the slightest, for she had a far greater gift; one that made her valuable to both her husband and her many allies: her contacts. There were obvious exceptions, of course - for example, as a vegetarian from a family of fellow vegetarians, what need would she have for a butcher? - but she knew enough names and enough secrets to ensure that she would always get what she wanted. Anyone who paid her a favour would often do so to get in touch with a certain someone through her. These three-way dealings were rarely legal.

* * *

Anna stood proudly, sword drawn as she looked out at the horizon. There, after months of searching and battling and hardship, lay the castle where her people had been held captive, and - actually, they would probably be held in the prison which was somewhere... there? That looked about right. At least someone she cared about was probably being kept in the castle: her Prince Charming.

_Anna the Brave._

She peered into the depth below. For a while she had entertained thoughts of standing above lava, but she had dismissed them as the fantasies of young children. No no, she was standing over an ocean - to be more specific, on the stern of her - or was it the prow? It was, wasn't it? Whatever - she was standing on the _front _of her flagship (_There we go!_), with an eyepatch over one eye and a telescope (Or _whatever those small things are called!_) held to the other. She looked back up. She knew where they were going.

_Anna the Intelligent._

Her fleet was lining up in perfect formation, baring down on the tiny ships her enemy had sent to fend her off. This was going to be a routine rescue mission - she was gonna sail straight through, sink all those ships straight down to Davy Jones' locker, whoever that was (but not before looting them, of course) and then she'd sail straight to the port, rush straight to the castle - no the prison, that had more people in it, _then _she'd go to the castle - to get her Prince and - actually, replacing their flag would probably be a pretty smart thing to do, wouldn't it? Sure, she'd do that on the way out, why not? And _then_ she'd bundle him into her ship and they'd sail off into the sunset. She (_Heroically!_) fumbled and dropped her spyglass into the red, furry water below.

"Oops! Er - I mean - I totally meant to do that! (_Wow that's some really red water..._) Do you see how the blood of our innocent comrades stains their shores?! (_They probably just killed all the horses... Do horses even have fur? Oh, wait, they do, but - it's more _hair_ than _fur_ so... actually, just skip that bit. Don't think about this _too_ much Anna!_) So, er where was I? Oh yeah - Look at how many of us they've slaughtered! What do you say men?" She turned around, fully caught in the moment.

_Anna the Alone._

She'd _almost_ expected an answer. Somehow, she'd expected the stolen sofas to cheer her on or do _something _other than just... _exist_.

At least some of the bears were kinda looking in her direction.

Anna pouted, before turning back around. Immediately, the sofas turned to mighty vessels. The wardrobe turned into a tall prison tower and her four poster bed transformed into a distant castle. She grinned. "Charge!" Her ships slowly began to unravel their sails and set forth. She braced herself as she saw an enemy ship approaching. Her smile widened as she raised her sword arm and made the jump.

The good thing about water is that you can climb out of it without being considered a cheater. "Keep sailing!" She called out, grabbing her spyglass from the surface. "I'm a great swimmer!" She clambered back onto her ship. "And I'm a great climber!" She got back to the same position, her counterpart on the enemy ship was patiently waiting for her to make the transition - a bit of gentlemanliness (_That's a word isn't it?_) never hurt anyone, right? Slipping her sword into its sheath she made the jump, properly this time, and promptly killed the captain with a single blow. _Didn't even need my sword for that one! _"Loot this ship lads!" She looked between two other ships, the occupants of both were gazing at her in awe. She smiled at both before leaping to the furthest one and kicking the owner off as she span her arms around to not fall. "Loot this one too!" She drew her sword, leaned forward and threw it at the remaining captain who was probably still stunned by her grace. "That's a hat trick!" She jumped over to retrieve her sword before looking up.

She was almost there! There was just one really big ship blocking her path, with the bulkiest captain of all. She dodged the swivel fire directed at her and managed to jump onto the second ship she'd liberated just as a broadside destroyed the third. She smirked at this final obstacle.

She'd just gotten in closer.

She made the jump and stared down the man in front of her. The crew of the ship, as well as her own who had finally caught up gazed in awe as they steadied their stances. This was gonna be an _epic_ fight. Anna smirked for the second time. They had _no idea_ who she was. She simply marched up to the captain and punched him off, giggling at the sound of his high pitched scream as he toppled over. She jumped onto the shore, opening the prison doors with a huge burst of strength, the captives spilling out at her feet. She grinned and leaped up to the castle, bundling her Prince under one arm before she made to escape.

"Wait! The flag!"

Her Prince in one arm, she leaned out of the window of the castle, slapping her symbol over the castle's own colours ("Sorry Prince! I don't have time to tear theirs down fully - I need to get you to safety!"). She had a moment to admire her handiwork before she slipped. With a scream, she plummeted into the red sea below.

Actually, so close to the castle, the water probably wouldn't even be that deep, would it? She pulled herself to her feet, chastising her Prince for panicking needlessly. Her fleet was still so far away, but she knew a way to get round to her rear guard. She could work her way back forward from there. She nodded to Charming as she ran.

_Anna the Victorious._

Giggling to herself as she slowed to a walk, she looked back and turned to the man in her arms. "That was close wasn't it? There's no way they can find us now!" The Prince didn't say anything. Poor guy was probably too shell shocked. "But that's okay! We'll get you back to the ship and warm food and -" (_eww! You stink!_) "- better clothes - actually, you'd look pretty cute in a pirate outfit - or we could probably find a sympathetic old woman here! There's always a sympathetic old - _ahh_!"

She'd walked onto the stairs without noticing. She had promptly lost her footing and was now hurtling down them and picking up speed as she did so. She grunted with every bump and scratch as she tried to find purchase along the hand rail. No luck. At the bottom she caught a glimpse of her father's shocked expression as she crashed into a warm body.

She rubbed her forehead. "Sorry dad..." she opened her eyes and looked up.

Uh oh.

It wasn't her dad.

A plump man, dressed in a dark green suit had already pulled himself to his feet. He was currently holding out a giant teddy bear to her to her with warm eyes and humour playing on his lips. She accepted it with a mumbled apology, but only had eyes for her father. He was livid, staring daggers into her and she felt herself shrinking. The pole hanging from her belt loop had pierced her skin and she could feel blood pooling in her waistband, but highly doubted that he cared.

_Anna the Clumsy._

* * *

"Do you have _any _idea who that was?!"

Whoever he was, he'd hardly been gone for ten minutes before her father, confident that he wouldn't be doubling back to pick up his bowler hat or watch or something had demanded she wait in the kitchen, his false smile having immediately disappeared. So she had waited for what seemed like forever, listening to her father pacing in the room next door, muttering to himself. Her mother had offered her a biscuit which she'd accepted and begun to nibble, but she hadn't had an appetite and it had tasted like - something tasteless. She hadn't even had the energy to think of an example and she'd simply dropped it onto the table a minute before Agdar had finally marched in. Of course he hadn't even waited to sit down before he'd burst.

"I... I don't know. I guess he was important." She didn't shrug or do anything other than mumble the words across.

"Him? Pah! _He_ was nothing. It's who he _represented_ that was the problem. And you've given him a fabulous reason why he should never bother coming here again!"

_Anna the Disaster._

"I'm sorry, dad."

"Sorry?!" The anger showed itself in his strangled chuckle. "No. Y_ou, _alright? _You_ don't get to feel _sorry_. Do you know how _long _it took for me to get this meeting?"

"No."

"Of course you don't! Why would you?! All you care about is - is yourself! What _you_ want! What _you_ think is right! Not once do you ever, _ever_ stop and think about someone other than yourself, or the consequences of your actions!

_Anna the Selfish._

"He - he seemed nice..." She hadn't been showing any emotion so far, answering in monotone, eyes facing downward, but now her fear and guilt began to creep into her voice. Her father had noticed.

"Of course he seemed nice! People are always nice to screw-ups like you!" He sneered as Anna finally managed to look at him. Out of the corner of her eye she saw her mother watching the argument, arms held in front of her. Her father wasn't finished as he leaned back and gazed skyward.

"Oh God! I know beggars can't be choosers but," he looked Anna straight in the eye, "could He have given me a shoddier excuse for a spare than _you_?"

_Anna the..._

_Well..._

_Anna the Anna._


	2. I am -

**A/N: This**** story is set in England, with English characters (unless stated otherwise). I thought it was worth mentioning, given most AUs are set in America.**

**Anna's theme tune can be found on YouTube using the link provided on my profile page**

**To my 2 reviewers, 3 favouriters and 6 followers as of my publishing this: Thank you!**

* * *

Tick, tock.

Anna had barely spoken after the argument with her father, not that she'd had much energy left to do so. Even after her father had dismissed her, she had sat trembling at the dining table, oblivious to the world until her father barked at her to "Move!" in the same booming voice. She shuddered, but her mother finally glided over and placed an arm over her shoulder, looking sternly across at her husband: "She did something wrong; you told her off. Now drop it." Agdar looked at her before grunting and marching off to his study, issuing commands to a maid waiting for him outside the room. Anna looked up with thankful, teary eyes as she was given a small squeeze before finishing her biscuit.

Tick, tock.

The biscuit had sated most of her appetite, leaving her unable to eat the food her mother had prepared for her later. It was her favourite dish, yet neither the smell nor the sight of it induced a reaction from her. She looked up at her parents. Her father held himself oddly, eyes distant except when they flickered over in her direction, his expression changing to one alien to her. Her mother made no contact with either, choosing to simply eat her meal instead of spark a conversation (or heated debate) over an event in her day.

Tick, tock.

Anna had finally been allowed back into her room, the maids having cleared it of the additions she'd made to it. The fact that neither they nor her parents had trusted her to do so herself had sparked a slight feeling of anger in her mind, but she'd chosen not to act upon it, instead helping herself to a plaster for her hip and collapsing on the living room sofa. When, after dinner, she saw that the corridor was abandoned, she'd rushed in, slammed the door, and collapsed in a heap on her bed. The room had seemed emptier than normal and it took her a while to notice that they'd removed a few of her personal effects as well, no doubt as a form of punishment. But they'd left the kitchen roll where she had dropped it on her bed for some reason and she had promptly thrown it against the wall with a sudden burst of energy before lying back down.

Tick, tock.

She'd lain there for hours unable to sleep, instead choosing to gaze at the grandfather clock across from her, eyes tracking the swing of its pendulum. She cast her mind back.

_"Do you have _any_ idea who that was?!"_

It was the first time she'd messed up her father's career so badly.

_"All you care about is - is yourself!"_

But it certainly _hadn't _been the first time she'd ruined something in her parents' lives. A series of accidents from her life flashed before her eyes.

_"People are always nice to screw-ups like you!"_

Being a "privileged" individual certainly helped, although she was well aware that she always got off lightly and felt horrible for it.

_"Could He have given me a shoddier excuse for a spare than _you_?"_

Anna blinked, roused from her reverie as she processed the words. _That's a really weird thing to say. Of all the insults he could have used, why _that_? What does being "a spare" even mean when I'm the only kid he's got? _She allowed herself a small smile. _Guess he was just rambling again._

Her darker thoughts quickly returned, but she (eventually) fell asleep. In her dreams she saw herself alone, wandering through her large home desperate for attention. She saw the dolls she'd been convinced could talk after watching a movie and remembered how she'd spent days begging them to look up and to lend an ear to the young girl who so desperately needed one. When that hadn't worked, she'd moved on to fully imaginary friends. Her dream formed a montage of those ghostly children who listened to her stories and fears without uttering a single word in response. She remembered a friend so old her face had been silhouetted by light from her window. She'd looked down at her, a few strands of bright hair contrasting with the shadows. She'd held a large blue square (_Wonder what that is?_) in one hand as she patted her to sleep with the other...

* * *

Anna awoke, the sound of her phone's alarm echoing between her ears. She groaned, refusing to open her eyes as she reached out, attempting to grab the offending object. She felt something brush against her fingers before it fell to the ground with a thud, its speaker facing upward and the sound intensifying. She groaned again, rolling her eyes beneath her lids.

_Now I have to_ get up_?!_

She rolled over, opening her bleary eyes. The phone had fallen on the opposite side of her bedside cabinet, so she had no choice. Grunting in submission and bracing herself with an hand on the wooden surface, she brought her feet to the soft carpet and pulled herself up. She blinked the residue fatigue from her eyes and the phone chose that time to stop ringing.

_Are you _kidding_ me with that timing?! I really hate me sometimes._

She grabbed the phone and switched the alarm off before it could cause anymore havoc. She peered at the corner of the display. And _of course_ she was late! She tossed the phone onto her bed as she slipped into her en suite bathroom, washing the drool from her cheeks and the rheum from her eyes with warm water before grabbing her brush, applying a thin layer of paste and cleaning her teeth. She flossed and smiled at her reflection, content. She walked out, checking the time. Actually, she wasn't _that _hopeless... She opened her wardrobe and again her clothes spilled out at her feet.

_Scratch that: I _am_ hopeless._

She kicked them back in, closed the wardrobe and turned before she remembered why she'd opened it in the first place. She yelped and opened it again, bringing a foot down on the pile to stop - some of it - from falling back out.

_At least I can _sometimes_ remember my lessons?_

Wary of the time, she grabbed a shirt and pair of trousers at random before returning the rest. Slamming the door to her room shut (in case it had somehow become unlocked), she stripped off her night clothes and pulled the new ones on. She sat down at her dressing table and grabbed her brush, wincing as her poor choice in colours was reflected back at her in the mirror before glancing at the mane that was her hair. She turned the brush in her fingers.

_I really hate this bit._

But forcing her hair into line consumed her conscious thought, allowing the images she'd seen overnight to re-emerge. Anna's expression of concentration gave way to a pensive one as she mulled over her dream. She looked at her reflection, for once not immediately recoiling at what on her head. "I really _am_ lonely, aren't I?" She asked. The other Anna asked the same question and answered with her own sad smile.

"I mean... I know I'm not an orphan," satisfied with the hair on the right side of her head, she moved onto her left, "and I know that, with Kai and all the other servants I'm actually better off than most in terms of company, but - ow!" She'd inadvertently tugged at a knot. She spent a few seconds trying to unravel it. "But that doesn't mean they keep _good_ company, right? And it's not like I have absolutely _no_ friends either, but they're all various shades of snooty and they _really_ get on my nerves sometimes and - OUCH! _Where are all these knots coming from?!_" After apologizing to her scalp, she unraveled the offending obstruction. "I'd just really like someone who thinks like me." She finished lamely. Her reflection agreed. Her hair fully tamed, she began to braid it, before pausing. Tugging her hair to her side she looked her reflection in the eye. "What if I just kept this short?"

The two Annas shrugged.

* * *

Anna's grin left her face as she left her room, only to face a huge portrait of her parents hung up on the wall across from her. She walked slowly towards it, drinking in the various details on their faces she never had a chance to look at in person.

_Why am I so unlike you?_

She looked at her father. Tall and proud, but with a light in his eyes that shone through whatever lens the camera had used to look out at whoever passed by. Her gaze moved up to his familiar red hair, then moved down to the freckles dotted around his nose. She looked across at her mother, equally elegant, with a smile on her lips. Anna focused on her eyes and facial structure in particular.

_I am _related_ to you after all._

Brushing the sinking feeling off she made her way back to the kitchen. Her mother looked up. Anna mumbled a greeting before helping herself to her cereal and milk. She tried to eat quietly to not disrupt her father who was busy reading the newspaper, glancing up at him whenever she brought her spoon down too fast or she felt she was chewing too loudly, painfully aware that she was still shaken from the previous night.

It took her a few moments to realise he was doing the same thing. Every few seconds he would look up at her, his expression unknowable, but as if he was trying to read her mind, before slipping his nose back into the paper. When Anna's surprised stare lingered for too long and he noticed, he simply nodded at her and stopped altogether. Puzzled, she looked over to her mother who she just noticed was trying to avoid her gaze completely.

_Odd. Wonder what's up with them? I mean, I was half expecting dad to start shouting again... Maybe something happened? Maybe he was right about that man promising to not come back? Oh no! But wait, then he _would_ be shouting at me, so it can't be that, can it? Maybe something else went wrong? That would explain it but - _

She quickly ducked her head as her father looked up once more, but not before catching his expression again. Something clicked and when her mother failed to look at her again, the thought solidified.

_It's like they're scared of _me_!_

* * *

Anna had no clue why _she_ would be _scaring_ them. It wasn't as if she knew some dark secret she could sell to the highest bidder or anything, right? Actually, there _was_ one in particular, but it was far too late to act on now, not that anyone would do anything if she did and besides, it had to have been something that happened overnight. She racked her brain for an answer but all she could think of was "the argument". She chuckled to herself. _Maybe this is his way of apologising? It'd certainly be a first!_

She had a strange feeling she'd forgotten something, but let the issue slide for a few days until she'd had another dream. It wasn't much of one, but it stayed in her mind nonetheless. In the dream she felt small, like a baby, and everything seemed hazy. She was trying to sleep but kept tossing and turning. How could she? There was so much fun to be had! A hand had pressed down on her stomach and she felt herself being lowered onto a bed. The hand traced a pattern over her torso that was both soothing and ticklish. She felt at ease as the owner of the hand rested whatever she was holding in the other on her lap, still gripping it prevent it from slipping, before looking down at her as she began to sing. Anna couldn't hear the words, but the tune was enough for her eyes to grow heavy. She felt herself drift off to sleep with a smile on her lips.

And she'd awoken in the present.

She closed her eyes again. _What was _that _all about?_

* * *

"Mum?"

"Yes dear?"

Anna had gotten washed, brushed her hair (with much less fuss this time) and had pulled on some clothes (that were a much better match) before skipping downstairs for her breakfast. As she'd somehow managed to be early; it was just the two of them in the living room, Anna curled up on one end of a couch, her mother perfectly poised on the other.

"Does the song 'Hush, Little Baby' mean anything to you?"

After humming the rhythm to herself a dozen times Anna had realised that she actually knew the song. It had taken a few guesses and a few fumbles as her half asleep fingers stumbled across the surface of her phone, but she'd finally been able to pin a name on it.

"It's an old lullaby, isn't it?"

"Yeah. I know this sounds silly, but... have you ever sung it to me? You know, as a kid?"

"No, why would you ask that?" Anna blushed at the frown on the older woman's face.

"Oh, I, uh, I heard it - recently - and it... it rang a bell?" She shrugged. "And because you've never let a maid put me to sleep I wondered if I'd heard it from you."

"Is that so?" There was a pause. "Your father will be down in a minute. Do you want to help me set the table for breakfast?"

"Yeah, why not?" Her mother hadn't even bothered to wait for the response before hurrying off. A second question echoed in her mind. _And why are you biting your lip?_

As she followed her, she went over the reasoning that had prompted her to ask the question, then scoffed at herself. She'd probably just heard the song on some show and it had stuck in her mind. Besides, the singer in her dream may have shared some of her mother's features, but she was _far_ younger (even younger than she would have been during Anna's youth) and her smile had been much wider (her own mother would never open her mouth. It was a serious problem Anna had so far been unable to fix).

And of course her mother had never been blonde.


	3. Someone who thinks so much like me

Despite his tendency to overanalyse his newspapers during breakfast, it was Agdar's favourite meal, simply because it was his chance to relax before a day's worth of grueling meetings. This morning he had stumbled down the stairs, a late night having finally caught up to him, collapsed in a seat and looked up in relief as his wife slid a plate of pancakes over to him. They shared a smile as she went back to her own food.

Anna saw the exchange and chuckled to herself, having been reminded of an exchange she and her mother had shared long ago. She looked over to her and her grin widened as she saw her mother looking back, a twinkle in her eyes. She held a finger to her lips as their secret hung in the air between them and Anna winked before looking back at her father who was flicking through the papers Kai had previously piled on the table beside his favourite seat.

"Do you like the food dad?" She smiled at him as he looked up. He beamed in response.

"Like it?" He looked to his wife. "I love it!"

Ithun blushed. "Anna helped, Agdar." She smiled at her. It was true after all. Anna had been much earlier than she'd thought that morning and had needed to wait for her appetite to catch up. She had volunteered to help her mother with flipping pancakes for a while before she'd been tasked with peeling some from the walls and ceiling (how they'd gotten up _there_ she was still trying to figure out).

"Really?" Agdar looked over her daughter who sat up proudly. "Then I like you too." He had a way of wrinkling his nose as he smiled that never failed to make Anna laugh.

"You don't need to kiss me though."

Her father beckoned her and she complied, bending down slightly so her could pat her head. "Will that do?"

"Yes. Not bad for a spare, huh?"

The change was dramatic. Agdar's hand seized up for a moment before he withdrew it when Anna yelped in pain. He choked on his food, Kai rushing into the room at the sound. Agdar held out a hand to stop him as he got his breathing under control. He looked up at Anna, who'd retreated, holding one hand in the other and looking at him fearfully.

"_What_ did you just say?"

"I'm sorry, dad!" Anna cursed herself for her complete lack of tact. "It was just - you know - what you said to me the other day?"

His eyes widened with recognition. He couldn't speak, merely nodding before taking his leave. Anna watched him leave. Her father had walked out _appearing_ to be fully in control, but they all knew the truth.

_That scared him, _thought Anna. _And he's running from it._

She looked up at her mother, hoping to find some answers, but her mother still had Agdar's terrified expression etched on her own face. She simply picked up her husband's plate, binned the contents and dropped it into the sink. When Anna opened her mouth she simply shook her head and sat back down to finish her own breakfast. Anna turned to Kai's blank face before sinking into her own chair.

_What's going on?_

* * *

"Kai!"

The butler turned to face Anna as she sprinted down the corridor to meet him, bending down momentarily to catch her breath. Kai had promptly taken his leave after the morning's fiasco and this had been her first opportunity to talk to him alone since. Kai waited for her to straighten up before replying.

"May I help you Miss?"

Anna thought for a moment. Kai had been with her parents longer than she had. She had forced herself to remember all that she could of her parents' pasts that could explain her father's outburst and her mother's stunned silence but had drawn nothing but blanks. She was certain he would know, although the issue lay in how to bring the information out, the biggest obstacle being her mouth.

"I just have a question."

"I will do my best to answer it."

_Here goes nothing._

"What happened this morning?"

Kai stared at her. _That can't be a good sign._

"What are you referring to Miss?" _Are you playing dumb?_

"Well, erm, this morning I - er - Actually, a few days ago my dad had a go at me for knocking someone over and he said... something about me being 'a spare.'" Anna frowned. She remembered the conversation vividly and it still hurt. "Anyway, this morning I - I said the same thing back to him - you know, about me being a spare, and... that's why you had to come in during breakfast." It was a weak finish and she looked up to see him thinking.

"Perhaps he resents starting the original argument?"

"Kai, he _freaked out_. No one finds it that hard to apologise for something." _Actually, I think he might._

"Was the topic a sore one for him?"

"Um... maybe? But, like I said, he totally flipped and - of course! - even mum went totally silent and hasn't said anything to me all day! What d'ya say to that?!" She smirked then quickly mumbled "Sir."

"It's nothing to concern yourself with."

"So there _is_ something going on!"

"Miss, your father expects me to be with him in the next 5 minutes. I'm afraid I must leave." But Anna skipped forward to block his path.

"First, look me straight in the eye and tell me that there is absolutely _no_ secret that would have caused that."

Kai flushed.

"Come on Kai! Just say the words." She folded her arms and smiled up at him and he steadily grew flustered, before he gave up and sank his head.

She'd won.

"You're better than them Kai." She said softly.

"I'll confess that I may know why that happened," he began slowly, "but I would rather not betray your father's trust in me by saying anything further."

"Okay, then just answer me this." She immediately held her hands up defensively at the sight of his panicked face, "Only because you said it's none of my concern!" When Kai had calmed down enough she lowered her voice. "How long ago did... whatever it is that happened happen?"

Kai took a deep breath. "About 16 years ago. Now, please." He moved past her. Anna took a moment to get over her initial surprise ("Sixteen years?!") before she grinned.

She had something to work with.

But before she forgot, she quickly called out to Kai's retreating form. "And for the last time: just call me Anna!"

* * *

It didn't take long for her to remember why she didn't like many of the servants in the family's employ.

While Anna certainly didn't know most of them by name, let alone anything about them, she knew a few well enough to know how long they had been at the manor. More specifically, she knew a few maids and manservants that had been around for at least 16 years and these people had been kind enough to direct her to a few others.

The problem arose in the actual interrogation. Most confessed to not knowing anything except what they heard via gossip (too current and too silly to be of any use) and what was required for them to do their jobs. Anna would let these people go, continually reminding herself not to get wrapped up in her sense of adventure and only question people who would be worth her time before she'd see someone else of equal status and run towards them, the moral forgotten.

The senior servants would frown at her when she asked them before telling her they didn't know either. Although she had no choice but to drop the subject, she'd noticed a few shifty eyes or nervous twitches and was eventually left wondering how many others she'd missed.

One thing she'd always known about these men and women (and her day had recently brought to light) was that they were all afraid of her parents. Either that or they were being paid too much to risk talking to a blabbermouth like her (which was a legitimate threat). As she took a break, washing fatigue from her face with cold water she realised that she knew where to find someone with the information she needed, minus the fears of compunction. Kai had refused to help (again), but this time she didn't need his aid at all.

* * *

She simply stole two of her father's old ledgers, thanking technology for choosing to wait before replacing his old system of recording salaries. She opened the first book on her bed after locking the door to her room, wasting time trying to determine how they were sorted before slapping her forehead and turning it sideways to read the tabs.

This book was 15 years old, although being part of a biennial database held accounts of the year before as well, making it perfect for her needs. She was looking for any person, from each division her father had made, that had disappeared after Kai's date, but also had to have been paid enough to suggest they had been high up the servant hierarchy; surely that would equate to being privy to more information, right?

She quickly lost track of time as she worked, scribbling names and salaries on her own wad of paper (that depleted at an alarming rate as she made numerous corrections), jumping up in surprise as a maid announced that her lunch had been heated for her and was currently outside her door. She'd hidden her books, opened the door just enough to peer out, then grabbed the plate, locked herself in and wolfed it down, but not before she looked back up and groaned.

She'd forgotten to use a bookmark.

After eating, she'd spent some time searching for one before she resumed her work (having given up and using a torn sheet of paper instead), finally finishing with the first book. She leaned back with a sigh and shrieked as she landed on her pillow, quickly pulling herself up before the softness lulled her to sleep. After rubbing her wrist for a while she hid the book and opened the second, this being 13 years old. The task was a bit simpler this time: she only needed to look for the employees she'd considered promising candidates in the first book that had survived into this one. Although it took her almost the entire day altogether she finally finished. She gazed at her list in relief.

_And now to analyse this. But first I need to get these back in the unlikely event dad or Kai go to get them and - OW myhandreallyreallyhurts!_

* * *

She'd finally returned and collapsed on her bed for a minute, waiting for the dull ache in her wrist to subside long enough for her to think straight. Once her head cleared, she'd promptly begun flicking through her notes, surprised by how many names she'd found and cursing herself for not being concise. Her worries were all for naught though, as there was a clear winner: a man with a salary that completely dwarfed the rest (_Even Kai!_) and had steadily grown more wealthy until he simply disappeared. Anna frowned, wondering what could have happened before checking his address. One of her many corrections had been to cross out the name of a small mansion and replace it with the address of a rundown council flat (which she knew quite well) after seeing a post-it note slapped over his last entry by her father (his neat penmanship contrasting immensely with the rough, yet legible words that had preceded it).

After that it had just been an issue of gathering her nerves before devising a cover story to Kai that she needed an hour or so to herself to clear her head (something she'd had to do far too often the past) and promising her mother that she'd be back in time for dinner. She'd checked the route and chosen a bus that would drop her off five minutes away from the flat. After a moment of hesitation she'd walked in, found the room she was looking for and knocked once, twice, thrice.

An aging man, face riddled with liver spots had answered. "How may I help you little lady?"

"Erm... I'm here to see Mr. Livingstone?" She held her breath as he frowned.

"That's me. And who might you be?"

"M - my name's Anna." When he gave her a shrug and a bemused smile she quickly added "Anna Arendelle?"

The smile gave way to fear. "What does - what does he want with me?! He's already taken everything!"

"No!" Anna had been afraid this would happen. "No, he doesn't want anything from you!"

"Look - that's what he said last time! I don't know what he's playing at, sending his daughter to courier his messages but you can go straight to him an -"

"I swear he has nothing to do with this!" She leaned on the door as he tried to close it. "Please! I just want to talk to you!"

Peter opened the door again and looked down at her pleading look before sighing, putting on a smile and stepping to one side, waiting until she'd entered before closing it and overtaking her. Anna wrinkled her nose while his back was turned, busy tossing discarded pizza boxes and cans from the chairs of the tiny living room. When they sat down he looked over to her. He smiled encouragingly, perhaps to compensate for his initial moment of weakness. "How can I help you, ma'am?"

"Please. Just call me Anna." _Anna, please, _please _don't blow it! Just start small, alright? _"Erm... I can see you're a fan of green?"

* * *

Peter, as he'd demanded she call him, seemed to love the unexpected attention, regaling her with stories of his youth, those of his children and his days with the Arendelles, spending a large amount of their time discussing the money he'd once had and what he'd done with it. Anna plastered a smile to her face and had quickly realised that all she needed to do was smile and nod whenever he paused and he'd be content, but it was getting late and she hadn't gotten even a hint regarding the "business" she'd come to conduct.

"So, Mr. Livi -"

"Peter!"

"Sorry sorry! _Peter_," he nodded encouragingly, "You've been around for a long time... what do you remember from when I was little?"

He looked at her and grinned. "I may _look_ the part, but I wasn't the monster in your closet." Anna huffed.

"Not _that_! Do you remember anything odd? Anything at all?"

Still chuckling at his joke, he cast his mind back. "Odd? _You_ were odd, little miss. Easily the most... _boisterous _child I've ever seen. In fact, I remember you had this particular routine for quite a few years with your mother where you'd hide below a table or bed or sofa and jump up and -"

"Not that either!" Her past indiscretions were always a sore subject for her. Scowling slightly, she continued. "Do you remember anything from 16 years ago?"

"About you?" He closed his eyes and leaned back before Anna could protest. "Well, I hardly ever saw you - well, hardly _anyone_ saw you I'd reckon," he smiled as a memory appeared behind his eyelids, "it was so hard to do, with such an overprotective lit -" His eyes opened in shock, somehow conveying far more emotion than when he'd heard her name, he tried to hide his mistake but Anna's intense gaze told him it was too late.

"What was that?"

"Nothing. I think you should go."

"Mr. Livingstone, I spent half an hour getting jostled on a bus to get here. I'm not leaving empty-handed."

"I gave you some water, so your conscience is clear." He closed his eyes again.

Anna sighed. She'd been afraid it would come to this and Peter's stories from just a short while ago had cemented the possibility in her head. She felt sick doing so but she reached into her bag.

And dropped a ten pound note on the coffee table between them, knocking on the wood to draw his attention to it. He looked from it to her with surprise.

"What's this supposed to be?"

"I'm buying the information from you." Another note.

"What? You think you can bribe me?"

"I guess I do." She dropped a third note, hating herself as she did so.

"You think that'll work?"

"Yes." A fourth.

"Why?"

"Because I know your type." A fifth.

"How?"

_Because I've spent too much time with my dad._ She added a sixth, not trusting herself to answer.

Peter scoffed. "You're your daddy's little girl, did you know that?"

_God I hope not. _One more.

"You're too young for this."

"I'm 18. I'm old enough to work and live on my own or start a family. I'm old enough for this too." An eighth note.

"It's not right to take money from a little girl."

"You aren't telling me to stop." She added another note, all emotion having long since left her body.

"It's more than my life's worth to tell you."

Anna said nothing, simply adding a tenth note and giving him a blank stare.

"You'll run out eventually." He added with her a worried look.

"When I run out I'll just give you a cheque, but I'm not leaving without an answer." An eleventh note. She looked up to see him biting his lip so she pulled out a twelfth.

"_Enough_!" He slammed a hand down on the pile before she could add it. "Okay! I'll - I'll do it! God help me, but I'll do it, just _stop_!"

Anna was too drained to reply.

"But promise me - _promise me_ \- that you won't tell _anyone_ that I told you this, alright? I'm - I'm being serious! Your father would - he would _kill me_! _Worse_ than kill me! Do I have your word?!" His panic was making him hyperventilate.

Anna nodded and tried to force out a reassuring smile but failed.

Peter slipped the money into his shirt pocket. "Okay... You... oh _God_..."

But he managed to spill the secret.

"You once had an older sister."

* * *

**A/N: Thank you to all of my readers. And thank you for the boom in new reviews, favourites and follows, you guys are awesome!**

**Life sucks for me right now, so this may mark the beginning of a month-long hiatus for me as I try to sort everything out on my end. In the meantime, I ask that you check out Frozen: Queen of Snow (and Ice), my sequel story to Frozen. Just be warned that the writing drastically improves from Chapter 7 onward.**

**Feel free to review the story and share your speculation; I read everything you guys say and I love all of it.**

**Again, I love you guys. _Stay_ awesome.**


	4. Now I know

**A/N: I'm back from my self-imposed exile everyone. A huge thanks to all the reviews, favourites and follows; they really, _really_ helped when I was feeling down, and I hope I can keep making you proud. I have tumblr, where I may use to post behind the scenes tidbits, relevant music or answers to questions, as well as twitter. My handle for both is "theroonco".**

* * *

There was a deathly silence in the room for a moment as the words echoed in Anna's head. When she found the ability to talk, her voice was shaky. "I had a sister?"

"Yes." Peter had calmed down somewhat and spoke with a level voice.

"Describe her."

"Let's see..." His tongue followed his eyes from left to right as he cast his mind back. "Well, as I said, she was older than you. She was blonde and, um, that's it." He gave Anna a sheepish grin that enraged her.

"That's it?! That's all you can tell me? That she was older than me and had blonde hair? What about her name?"

Peter held his hands up defensively. "I swear that's all I know! I only saw her," here he wriggled his fingers desperately, "a few times, alright? And nearly all those times she was too busy lugging you around!"

Anna blinked at the man as she processed the information. "What do you mean?"

"The only times I saw her, she'd be carrying or trying to feed you, alright? And she was so darn protective," he chuckled, "she'd cart you into one of your bedrooms at the first sign of trouble. A shame that she seemed frightened by pretty much anything."

The sound of his laughter only served to aggravate the girl further. "Are you kidding me? You can _poke fun_ at my sister yet you can't tell me her name? You were being paid more than Kai for crying out loud! How can you not know _your boss' daughter's name?!_" She privately smiled as Peter's smirk left his face.

"She had her own staff." He said simply. "A few maids that kept her in her room except for the few times she snuck off to find you. As for not knowing her name," He shrugged, "both your parents are fond of keeping secrets."

"If she had her own staff, give me _their_ names." Anna's mind raced. If her father had wanted to keep his eldest daughter a secret, he would have had to pay those maids an extraordinary amount of money. As such, it would be quite likely that their names would have been among those she'd picked out during her research.

"I'm not good with names, but I remember... Nala, I think it was. And Kiara? I actually spoke with those two."

Anna frowned. "They weren't in the ledgers from back then."

"Use your head girl! Isn't it obvious they were being paid separately?"

Anna huffed. Coming off of the adrenaline rush, if the shock could be called that, she asked the question that had formed in her mind almost immediately after her first one, yet had been too frightening to ask. "You - you said I _had_ an older sister," she began, her voice shaking again, "what - why did you say _had_? What happened to her? She's not... you know?" _Dead?_

Peter rubbed his hands over his eyes and took a deep breath before he spoke, clearly having understood her last sentence. "I wouldn't put anything past the man, but I don't know. One day she just... disappeared, along with her staff, a year before _I_... left. All the records your parents had on any of them went missing as well. Now, please go. If anyone sees that I've been talking to you..." He gave her a worried look.

Anna stood and got as far as the door before some more questions took shape. She turned back. "Did you tell anyone else all this? Is that why you lost your job?"

Peter outright guffawed before patting his breast pocket. "No, no. I left your father's employment over something much more mundane. You read the old ledgers didn't you?" Anna nodded. "Your father didn't approve of my handwriting."

Anna rolled her eyes and asked her final question. "Why don't I remember any of this? I know I was two at the time, but surely not having a sister all of a sudden would be a big deal, right?"

Peter was getting impatient, but maintained a calm tone. "I obviously don't know much about you now, but you were always a bit _slow_ as a child. Now you really should leave."

Anna rolled her eyes again as she backed outside. "I get enough of that from therapy, thank you very much. And you're just being paranoid."

Peter placed a hand on the door.

"And you're just being naive."

* * *

The whole ordeal was just so _bizarre_. So she had a sister? That made sense in a strange sort of way, as Peter's description matched the figure from her dream, but where was she now? Why did she have to go? _Was she even alive?!_

Anna shook her head before the idea could grow further and looked up. She was seated at the dinner table alongside her parents. She bit her lip as she looked up at them, still as tense as the day after her father had uttered the words that had sparked the whole affair. It was that memory that encouraged her to seize the initiative.

"I know I have a sister."

It was as if time stopped for a fraction of a second. Both her mother and father froze in the middle of chewing their food or scooping up another mouthful respectively, before resuming as if nothing had happened. Anna waited for a few seconds for either of them to respond, but they didn't.

"I know you heard that."

This time, her father swallowed the contents of his mouth before turning to her, speaking with an emotionless voice. "What was that?"

"Don't play dumb."

"I really have no idea what you're talking about."

"I know I used to have a sister but she left when she was two. I know she had her own staff and you got rid of them when you got rid of her. So what happened, huh? What did you do to her?!" Anna slammed her hand on the table. "_Tell me_!"

Her father wiped a few drops of soup from his lips before fixing her with a hard stare. "And who could have told you all this, I wonder?" He began, scanning her face. "Someone who's been working here for quite some time, of course. However, it must be someone who wasn't at risk of losing their job or their money if their role became known, correct? So it must have been someone who _used _to work here." Anna tried to keep her face still, but her widening eyes betrayed her. "Kai told me you've been locked up in that room of yours all day. I'm sure that if I were to check my study, I'd find the old ledgers out of order? Of course, your little excursion this evening wasn't much longer than an hour, maybe two, accounting for my lack of focus on what you get up to, so I highly doubt you would have visited each and every one of those former employees. Now, for all your flaws, you have a decent head on your shoulders, so I'd say you prioritized the better paid ones, hmm? And taking their personalities and addresses into account..." Agdar leaned back in his chair for a moment, closing his eyes before chuckling. "How much did you pay Livingstone?"

Anna gasped and her father looked back at her. "I applaud you for taking the initiative though Anna. I sincerely do. In fact, this works out nicely for both of us."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"Remember the little _accident_ you had last week? Well, I think the best way to make amends is to help me in another business venture, wouldn't you agree? Next week, a friend of mine will be hosting a fundraiser for one of his smaller businesses. I was supposed to attend, but it isn't really to my taste, so I want you to go in my stead."

"Agdar." Anna's mother had finally joined the conversation, her voice soft. "Are you sure that's fair? She doesn't need to be a part of that."

Agdar brushed the complaint aside. "Relax. The girl needs to learn a bit of business eventually, even if she doesn't choose to follow in my footsteps."

Anna watched Ithun leave the room before responding. "And what does this have to do with my sister?"

Agdar gave her a roguish grin. "Don't I do everything for a reason?"

Anna simply stared. _You sure do dad. When you signed me up to learn water polo you kept telling me off for not holding the other kids' heads underwater. When you wanted me to learn karate you _really _just wanted me to learn to hit below the belt. So yeah, you do. You're always trying to teach me "a bit of business"._

Anna almost missed what her father said next. "And once the big lug finishes pontificating, you can ask him about your sister." Anna's jaw dropped and he smirked. "As I highly doubt you'll refuse the best offer I'll be making you, I'll start with the arrangements now." He left her to her thoughts, already bringing out his phone for the necessary calls.

* * *

True to his word, Agdar refused to even acknowledge the subject all week, telling Anna to wait or simply ignoring her numerous questions altogether. Her mother wasn't any better, shrugging her off, even when the girl begged her to shed some light on the situation. Two things hurt Anna most during that time: one, that she hadn't been given the opportunity to find Peter and apologize for betraying him or to see if his fears had been well founded, and second, for whatever reason, her parents wouldn't even deign to give her her sister's _name_.

It was the longest week of Anna's life, but it eventually passed, leaving her seated in the living room of her home in an expensive, yet conservative green dress, fidgeting and hyperventilating, desperate to regain some control over herself before she embarked on what could be the most significant trip of her life. It was almost a relief when the appointed hour arrived, followed a few minutes later by the ring of the bell. Anna walked over to the lobby with shaking legs but was beaten to the door by her father, who welcomed two burly men in with a wide smile. She observed them from where she stood, before they could notice her. Both men were huge, muscles evident even in their black suits. They appeared to be brothers, with short, ginger hair. One had chosen to grow sideburns reaching down to his mouth, while the other had a scar running down the left side of his forehead and onto his cheek. She took another deep breath and stepped forward.

Her father turned and smiled warmly at her. _The nerve! _"There you are Anna. These men will be serving as your escorts today. You won't be going too far, but I've asked these men to keep you safe. Is that alright?" Anna just nodded. "Fabulous. Now, if you men would be kind enough to ready the car, thank you," the men walked back out as Agdar turned to his daughter, "I hope you have a nice time Anna." He gave her a hug, but Anna refused to reciprocate. He chuckled. "At least say goodbye to your mother." He pointed to Ithun, who was standing on the lowest step of the staircase. Anna couldn't trust herself to speak, so simply waved before following her "bodyguards" to their car.

* * *

The ride was uncomfortable to say the least. Not because the car was cramped or stuffy (it was the exact opposite of both), but because the lack of conversation and the darkened windows that she wasn't allowed to lower only served to highlight the fact that Anna simply had no idea where she was being taken, her father having told her that he wanted "to keep it a surprise". She had raised the issue with the men, arguing that the set up was not unlike a kidnapping, only for Sideburns, as she chose to call him, to snark that, unlike a kidnapping, she could jump out at any time. Anna snorted and leaned back in her seat, eyes shut. _As if I'd back out after coming this far._

She didn't gain any information upon arriving either. She had been taken to what looked to be a giant theater. Security was rampant everywhere, people being stopped, seemingly at random, left right and center, although Anna's group received no such trouble. Her thugs efficiently bundled her into what she assumed was a VIP seating area, empty apart from a few individuals absorbed in deep conversation. Unable to join in and ask questions of her own (partly due to the imposing figures of her escorts), Anna could only eye her watch and wait for the show to start, fighting back her panic.

* * *

At the stroke of the hour, the lights dimmed. Anna leaned forward with anticipation. A spotlight illuminated the stage as a screen descended, before a hidden projector shone a backdrop of leaves onto it. Anna cast her eyes down from her vantage point at the larger crowd - the "regulars" - assorted below before looking back at the stage as a man strode forth. He was a giant, easily the tallest man Anna had ever seen, and also quite plump. He was dressed in a green shirt and orange trousers with a simple green cap, all matching the background. He had a wispy moustache that led into two humongous sideburns, far thicker than those belonging to Sideburns himself, seated under a wide nose.

The man bounced on the balls of his feet for a few moments, waiting for the few lingering conversations in the hall to cease (Anna's eyes couldn't help but be drawn to his immense bulk as he did so). When the audience fell silent, he beamed at those below him, then cast his gaze up at the VIP seating areas. "Welcome all!" He began. "It's lovely to be here again, yes? Have we been keeping ourselves busy?" Laughter echoed throughout the room. Anna wrinkled her nose. _This guy is _way _too proud of himself. And that exaggerated accent is already getting on my nerves._

The man really did _pontificate_, as her father put it. He did nothing but gossip for five minutes and the people in her seating area in turn did nothing but laugh at his horrible jokes or murmur their agreements of whatever ideologies he spouted. Finally, he held his hands out to silence yet another round of applause. "I fear I am getting off topic yet again. Let me make amends or you'll be going away with bad feelings!" He clapped his hands and the leaves behind him gave way to the first slide of the presentation he was about to give. "My name is Winston Oak! And I welcome you to celebrate yet another anniversary..." He clapped his hands again and the screen changed to another slide.

If this man knew where her sister was, Anna realised, it was because her father had handed her over to him. All her life she'd thought the phrase to be nothing more than an exaggeration or cliche, but when Oak finished his sentence...

...it truly felt as though her heart had stopped.

* * *

**A/N: I like to think Anna's theme tune changes at this point. You can find the link in my profile page, just as before.**


	5. Be the good girl you always have to be

Anna felt sick. Below, Winston paraded back and forth across the stage, singing his own praises, while those in front of him gave their full attention. Anna's eyes passed over the crowd and found only a few teary eyes among them; far too many faces were in states of mirth. She heard the muffled sound of laughter, both from them and the people in her booth. She wanted to shrivel up and just _not__ exist_ until she could confront that man and demand answers.

The man was a monster, all of his words tailored to emphasise _his_ contributions to the people in his care, the money _he _was spending, the accolades no doubt hanging in _his_ office. Anna looked away once the presentation displayed images of individuals he claimed to have helped in the past. These snippets of Oak's one sided conversations were all that reached Anna through her state of complete shock. Before she had simply been on edge when thinking of him. Now, she _hated_ him, as well as the multitude of people cackling along with him, seemingly ignorant of what it was they were here for. _What are they?!_

* * *

It felt like an era passed before the show ended and Winston finished his spectacle. Anna promptly rushed from the stage, her bodyguards on either side of her once they'd caught up. She barreled through men and women congregating in the corridors. Security guards advanced on her multiple times but she only paused to wave her badge in their faces before running under their arms, leaving Sideburns to explain her actions. Finally, she caught up to the man she longed to meet, he himself having just ended a conversation with a fellow giant of a man. Anna bent over in front of him, clutching her thighs as she wheezed. Winston regarded her with a bemused expression before she finally looked up at him, dangling her badge from her fingers as she introduced herself. "He- hello. My... my name is Anna. Anna Arendelle."

"Hello Anna. It's a pleasure to make your acquaintance. You certainly seem to be in a rush. How may I help you?" Despite his larger than life persona on stage, Winston was extremely polite and welcoming, both with his language and his posture.

Anna straightened her back, cheeks still red from the exertion. "I need to talk to you." She took in another deep breath. "I have - " Here her nerves faltered. _Please let that be the right tense! _" - _have _an older sister, but she was - she was taken. Gone. My father said you'd tell me where she was. Please, help me."

Oak gave her a long searching look and Anna felt herself shiver under the scrutiny. She adjusted the strap of her dress as she looked anywhere but at him. It amazed her how she was given a wide berth by the public milling around them, a few people waiting at a respectful distance, but the two were otherwise left to themselves. She almost missed the man's response.

"Indeed I can Anna. If you and your men can follow me to my office, it's a five minute drive and I can get you everything you need from there."

"Is that really alright with you? Like, right now?"

"There's no fuss, I have people who can answer questions roaming around, unless you have a problem? Young girl like yourself, you must be quite busy, yes?" He winked. "I don't work much on Sunday mornings, if you'd like to come in then?"

"No, you deserve your free time. Now is good. Great actually."

* * *

Oak had a personal vehicle that took him to the building, while Anna followed in her own. The henchmen her father had appointed escorted her inside and left her with Oak, returning to their car to await her return. As he took her to the waiting area, empty now given the time and day of the week, Oak sparked a conversation with her, not about her sister but herself. Anna found herself at ease with the man and impressed with his warm nature and joviality; the same joviality she had hated only a short time ago ("You see Anna, sometimes you must act unlike yourself to make your point known and apologize to yourself afterwards.").

The waiting area was a very simple room. Well-lit but plain. Chairs placed against the walls with an unassuming table in the center, a pile of books piled in a corner. Anna had been asked to sit for the five minutes it would take Oak to get the necessary documents. Once he left, Anna held her head in her hands and forced herself to breath slowly. Five minutes. Just five minutes and she would have her answers. Five minutes and she would know where her sister was. _Who_ her sister was. She frowned as the few words Oak had spared for her sister sprang to the forefront of her mind.

_"Do you know her, sir?"_

_"I might."_

_"You _might_? What's her name? How old is she?"_

_"All in good time."_

She wrinkled her nose. _If he _does _know who she is, why wouldn't he just _tell_ me? I mean, he _does_, right? That's why I'm here and that's how he can get me her files - looking her up on a database or something? So why not? It's not like he has to tell me everything in one go! Unless he _doesn't _know and he's just looking for our surname? Then why give me that false hope? Why say _"might"_?_

She was roused from her reverie by the sound of two other individuals entering the room. She looked up as they sat down across from her. They were a woman and a little girl. The woman seemed to be middle age, in a simple red dress and curly shoulder length hair that had begun to grey. The girl was young, very young, six or thereabouts by Anna's estimate, her bright blue eyes matching her blue dress and jacket and her blonde hair tied back in a braid, head framed by a black headband. Something flickered in her mind, but Anna smiled at the duo before sinking back into her thoughts.

* * *

Anna was getting impatient, grasping one hand in the other and biting her lip as she began to tap one foot on the floor. _Where is he?! _She checked the time: five minutes had come and gone long ago. She whipped her head back with a loud huff and decided to concentrate on her fellows to calm herself. They seemed to have started a disagreement. Anna strained her ears.

"Bored." This was the little girl.

"I know flower, I know. Can you be patient for me dear?"

"I'm bored." Her voice was so _hollow_ and her words were muffled by the air she exhaled alongside them.

"Flower, rest if you want, but this is very important. Do you understand?"

"No. I want to go home." The girl's eyes met Anna's. They were just so _vacant_, as if the girl wasn't even aware of her surroundings. Anna recognised the signs.

She took another look at the girl and realised just how similar she was to the figure she'd seen in her dreams and the thought unnerved her. She thought of what little she knew of her missing sister. She noted the argument between the girl and her guardian and wondered whether her sister had sounded like that or looked at her in that way. After what she'd learned, she was all too aware that that was a possibility.

She wasn't ready.

Sick to the gut, she rose to her feet and walked over to the lady who looked up with a weary smile. Anna trembled for a moment before speaking. "Mr. Oak told me that if I needed to, I could come and... collect something on Sunday. I take it you're here to see him as well?" The lady nodded. "Could you... When you see him, could you tell him I'm taking him up on his offer please? I just _can't_ right now. I'm sorry."

The lady nodded for a second time, but before she could ask why tears were forming in the strange redhead's eyes, she'd taken a look at her and her daughter before running away, down the hall and into the night.

* * *

Anna had never been particularly proud of herself and had beat herself up over her many mistakes in the past, but this was the first time she felt _disgusted_ by her own actions. She had run from _a little girl_, just because she hadn't been ready to face reality. Not only that, she had also failed to learn more about her sister. All that effort, all that mental preparation, utterly _wasted_ because she was a complete, utter _failure_. She could barely hold her spoon that night at the dinner table; her hand shook too much.

Her father sat beside her eating frenetically, obviously having had a busy day's work. Anna was surprised, yet relieved that he hadn't immediately pounced on her, but it was only a matter of time. "So, did you learn anything about your sister today?"

Anna put her spoon down, not that she'd had much opportunity to use it anyway. "No."

"That's a shame." He mopped at his mouth with a napkin. "You don't know the specifics, but you know the basics don't you?"

"Yes." Anna clenched her fist under the table, while the hand on the table clutched the tablecloth. "Is that _it_? Is that the _only reason_ you got rid of her? We could have helped her!"

"She was a disgrace and quite frankly, an embarrassment to this family."

Her father had said this so calmly, so _nonchalantly_, that Anna began to see red. Her hand seized a fistful of cloth. "_She's your daughter!_"

"No one wants a daughter like that!" He finally snapped. "She was older than you by two, three years, yet you were better with words than she was for crying out loud! In fact, she was probably the dumbest person on that screen!" Anna gasped.

"She was _on that screen?!_ That hall was _filled_ with fat cats and wannabe fat cats _laughing_ at her and you're okay with that?! _What the hell is wrong with you?!_"

Her father had calmed himself down after his own outburst and immediately walked to the coffee machine. He poured himself a cup and tested the temperature. Too hot. He placed the mug on the kitchen workspace and looked through the utensils at her.

"Can you imagine what people would say if they saw something like _that_ in this house? She's just an accident."

Thing. He had referred to her sister as a _thing_.

Anna stood up as well. "Then what about me?" She demanded. "I talk to myself all the time! I'm clumsy, I'm forgetful, not smart or athletic, you pay people all the time to remind me I've got a few screws loose," she knocked the side of her head to make her point, "so why didn't you squirrel _me_ away in some hole somewhere and have another go? Third time's the charm, right?"

Agdar chuckled before sipping at his drink again, humming contentedly before taking in a mouthful. He swallowed before smiling at her. "What does a magician never do?"

* * *

_Four years ago, on Anna's birthday, her mother had finally acquiesced to her pleas and taken her to see a magic show, though Anna always believed the true magic was seeing Agdar being forced into a woolly overcoat (he hated them with a passion as they obscured "his chiseled physique") and being bundled out of the front door and into a car. Despite the heavy snowfall, the theater had been packed and for once, Anna had been glad her parents were letting her sit apart from the crowds, away from the loud sounds of people jostling each other and fighting to find their seats, though she also missed the loud sounds of children laughing and telling jokes or funny stories._

_Those thoughts left her mind when the show started though. She and her father had had so much fun mocking the presenter for not contributing any tricks of his own and Anna laughed when her parents tried to blind each other when the men and women began cavorting on stage, though they stopped and joined her in giving her full attention to the stage when the "big tricks" began. The escapology, the mind tricks, the card tricks; everything was all so amazing!_

_There was one trick in particular that Anna couldn't possibly devise an explanation for. A lady was made to lie inside a box before the magician took a giant blade and _cut her in two!_ Anna immediately gasped and hugged her father, who wasted no time in telling her of all the times he'd seen the trick go horribly wrong. Anna forced her eyes shut until the sound of cheering opened them for her and she saw the woman perfectly whole. She frowned at her father. "How did they do that?"_

_"Do you really think they're going to tell you?"_

_"No, but I wish they'd do it again. I want another look. Properly this time."_

_"Well, that's something they never do."_

_"What's that?"_

* * *

"They never do the same trick twice." Anna echoed. Her father nodded and drank a second mouthful. She wasn't close to either parent. She knew it, they knew it. That just meant she treasured the few memories where they hadn't been at each other's throats; moments when they really had been a family. The thought that her father would take one those occasions and _corrupt_ it, use it solely to _spite_ her, was painful. She couldn't say anything.

"And you could be fixed." Agdar's voice jolted her and she looked up. "Treated. Besides, what stopped you from getting this information for yourself?" She immediately bit her lip.

"There was... another family there. A woman and a little girl. He said I could come back on Sunday." She couldn't tell him the truth, but she couldn't bring herself to lie either. This was a compromise she could live with.

"That won't happen."

"Wh - what do you mean?" She turned her head and saw a familiar glint in his eye.

"I doubt he'd have time for someone who ran off at the sight of a blondie and her mother."

"What makes you say I _ran off_? And -" There was a long pause as the gears whirred inside her head. "- _I didn't tell you she was blonde._"

Agdar's smirk widened. "Blonde _is_ a very common hair colour in these parts. And to answer your first question: we both know how soft you are."

Anna braced herself against the table and spoke slowly. "So what? Everything you do is to harden me? Turn me into _you_? And what if I don't _want_ to become you? You'll throw me away and pretend I don't exist? Or are you just... just going to get inside my head and _destroy it__?_ She couldn't stop the tears now. "Because you're really, really close dad. I can practically _feel_ it. One day I'll just snap and end up like a Bjorgman!" She turned and ran.

* * *

Anna didn't remember the few seconds it took to reach and barricade herself in her room, though she had the vaguest recollection of shoving her mother against a wall on her way to do so. She would apologize later. For now, she wanted nothing more than to just sink into her bed. She'd let herself down and more importantly she'd let her sister down. She wondered if she really had seen her that day and the idea that men and women had laughed at her, caught up in their own fantasies of wealth and status, made her blood boil. She thought of the small family that had cost her her nerve and how, even if she could meet her sister in person, she didn't think she deserved to.

But what _did_ she deserve? To be mocked and beaten so thoroughly by her own father? A man so determined to maintain his reputation that he'd destroy his family to do so?

_Maybe. But not yet. I don't know how I could help, but I'm not gonna lie down and let people run over me until I can find my sister._

But how could she do it? Her parents refused to talk. If she spoke to the staff, she'd be putting them at risk - she still didn't know whether Peter was safe. Oak was the only lead she had, but what if her father was right? What if Oak was toying with her? She was just a girl. No talents, no authority, no power. She couldn't even get the law involved without being surrounded by men and women in her father's pocket. She had nothing.

It was then that a memory came to her. A liver spot riddled old man tucking twelve notes into his pocket, suddenly willing to share information he hadn't wanted to when she had used just her words. She remembered how easy it had been to reach Oak in the first place, ducking under guards and leaving her thugs to sort the mess out and smiled. _I've learnt a bit of business._

Her mind flashed back to the presentation that had given her her first answer, confronting the revelation and hardening her resolve.

_You really want me to be your "perfect girl" dad?_

"My name is Winston Oak! And I welcome you to celebrate yet another anniversary..."

_Fine._

"...of the Oak Family's Mental Health Clinic!"


	6. That perfect girl is gone

**A/N: As always, a huge thank you to everyone who's supported me thus far. I couldn't do this without you. Please review my story if you can; I'm willing to take on all criticism, constructive or otherwise. Thank you all and thank you to UltimateCyanide for betaing my work so far. This will most likely mark the beginning of a second hiatus for me, as I will be leaving the country next week. Thanks again for understanding.**

* * *

Sunday morning.

Anna had forced herself awake early and gotten ready, berating herself after every one of her usual slip ups. She'd forced her hair into order, slipped on her best clothes, prepared her pockets and handbag...

But she was scared.

She simply stared at her reflection, having collapsed by her dressing table, tired from the mental exertion.

_I have to do this._

Her eyes passed over the familiar face, the freckles, the hair before closing. She took a deep breath, steadying herself.

_I _will_ do this._

She pulled herself to her feet and walked out the door.

_I won't let her down again._

During her early breakfast her father had scoffed and asked her what she was doing ahead of her usual rising hours. Anna proudly told him she had an appointment to keep with Oak and her father laughed, telling her not to bother. Anna sneered back, dropping her bowl into the sink with unnecessary force and spat back a retort, to which he chuckled and simply waved goodbye. Seething, Anna marched out the front door, slamming it shut behind her.

* * *

Anna had had the foresight to do some research before her visit. She knew what to bring, what to say (she'd rehearsed a few speeches) and what to do. She knew which particular business Oak would be overseeing on a Sunday and which building he would be in. She had made phone inquiries and found that Oak really _was_ free when he said he'd be, so when she marched in through the automatic doors and into the foyer, escaping into the glorious chill of air conditioning, she felt confident.

Mostly.

She faltered then, eyes scanning the room. There were two rows of seats to her left and a vending machine off to the right. She walked forward, hearing the doors slide shut behind her and ran a finger over the cool glass, looking at the trinkets being offered. Her attention was drawn to a particular brand of car accessory: a pudgy little snowman with an carrot nose and stick arms.

_Odd. And in such short supply too. Probably some winter stock they don't want to just throw out._

She shook her head and forced herself to focus on what she came here to do. In the corner of the room was a reception desk, where two people sat, waiting to deal with the day's visitors. She scanned the queues. There were only two people in each.

_Perfect._

She got in line and soon enough, she found herself in front of a man in a simple white uniform who looked back with green eyes. She looked back: no one was behind her, the room in the process of being cleared in time for the day to begin in earnest. She looked back at the man, who had begun scratching his ginger sideburns as he waited for her to begin talking. He respectfully stopped when she did.

"Er," Anna coughed politely, privately furious for stumbling at the first step, "good morning. My name is Anna. Anna Arendelle? I believe I have an appointment with Mr. Oak..."

She leaned over the counter as the man entered her details into his computer, stopping once to check his spelling and again to raise his eyebrow (Anna pulled back when he did so). When he finished searching, he looked back at her, brows furrowed.

"I'm sorry, ma'am. I can't find anything of the sort, but..." His eyes roamed up and down her body, no doubt about to criticise her for assuming his boss would want to speak to a girl of her age. She cursed her father for telling the truth about Oak before choosing a different tack, pulling her badge from her handbag.

"I represent the Arendelle Conglomerate. My father's company. I think you'll find he's had a few dealings with Mr. Oak in the past." She barely concealed her smile as he took a look at her identification before moving back to the screen. She was telling the truth, having learnt of the collaborations as part of her research. Frowning, the receptionist turned back to her.

"Still nothing I'm afraid. I mean, I respect you for helping your dad out - volunteering, correct? - but, like I said, nothing. There's a meeting scheduled next month actually, are you sure you didn't get confused?"

Anna turned around again, thanking what little luck she had that a new queue had yet to form behind her. "I'm _quite _sure I picked the correct date. I hope I could persuade you to let me through regardless of the short notice?"

The man's eyes widened and he even leaned back slightly. "What do you mean?"

The sneer was back on Anna's face as her hand returned to her handbag. "What would you say is a suitable bribe to get me to him?"

* * *

Even after all the time she'd spent with her father and his companions, Anna was still astounded at the change the sight of money could induce in people. The receptionist (named Westie, as she learned soon after) had immediately straightened his back, put on a huge grin and promised her no troubles whatsoever - for an extra bit of cash of course. And he was right. The closest she'd come to a problem had been when Oak's personal secretary had frowned at her as she'd climbed the stairs, complaining that her sudden appointment was completely against standard procedures.

Her adrenaline rush faded just as she approached his door, leaving her frozen in place, knuckles suspended in front of the wood. A multitude of emotions washed over her - her doubt, her fears, her disgust at her own actions that she'd refused to feel so far - before her hand clenched shut, breaking the spell. She knocked once, twice, thrice. When she heard "Come in!" from the other side she gripped the handle, her fingers shaking slightly before she opened it in one swift motion. She locked eyes with Oak, hers narrowing as his widened fractionally.

"Miss Arendelle! It's a surprise to see you here!" He paused as Anna took her seat across from him, holding her hands on her lap beneath the desk. "I must say you're your father's girl through and through. How much money did you spend to get here?" Anna looked up to see his knowing smile and fought the impulse to vomit.

She clenched her jaw tight before relaxing it enough to speak. "You said you'd tell me about my sister today." She couldn't trust herself to say more, so she instead clasped her hands together and looked down until Oak replied.

"And you really believed that?" He let the statement sink in, relishing the effect it had. "After your father went through all that trouble to hide her from the world, you really thought I'd spill everything to a little girl?"

Anna struggled to contain herself, but she felt her control slipping. "Then why give me false hope?! Why take me to that waiting room? Why not just tell me to get lost?!"

She had barely noticed the monitor off to his right as she entered the room, but now he turned his attention to it, opening a new window and typing in a command. Anna tried to subtly lean over, only for the man to turn it around to face her instead. The screen was displaying the live feed of a camera looking at a drab and dreary room. Anna recognised it even as Oak posed his question. "Is this the waiting room in question?"

Anna nodded dumbly. The camera was positioned in the corner of the room and Anna found the seat she'd occupied that day, waiting for answers that would never come. "You were watching me..." She trailed off, looking down, staring at the desk as she processed the information. She heard Oak chuckle and the sound of the monitor being rotated to its original position.

"Obviously."

"Then... that wo - those two people, the woman and child? What were they doing there?"

"Think of it as an experiment. We wanted to see how long you'd stay put before giving up. Well, I was the one watching, but I phoned him afterwards. Your father wanted to see how soft you really were. I just thought it was a barrel of fun."

Anna fell back against the chair, head leaning into her chest as she blinked angry tears from her eyes. She was dimly aware that Oak's accent had all but disappeared since their last encounter and wondered if that too had been part of his act. "And those two... what were they? Actors?"

"Oh!" Oak waved his hand as he leaned back in his own seat, though with much more joy than her. "No, they were the genuine deal seeking help. Your father was kind enough to direct them in my direction - by the way, that's what friends do: help each other out. Apparently you don't have many to practice with - anyway, funny how the timing worked out, isn't it?" His eyes twinkled before he winked at her.

Anna hid her face in the upturned collar of her jacket, trying to wipe away the tears without exposing them to him. The endeavour was a partial success and she chose to make do, meeting his gaze and smile with red eyes and wet cheeks. She took a shaky breath. She was desperate at this point, desperate to find her sister after all that had been done to hide her away and also to defend herself, in any way possible. She exhaled and waited, begging her nerves to relax. "You do realise my father's empire far outweighs yours, correct?"

Oak scoffed. "Of course. But I'm content with where I am for now. What are you getting at?"

"I was just reminding you that, as heir, that power also falls to me; in a limited capacity perhaps, but mine all the same." Her mind was abuzz with the words she expected to hear and the words she should say in return.

Oak laughed loudly. "And what is that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing yet. You seem to be _great_ friends with my dad. How about my mother? Do you get along with her?"

Oak frowned. "I've met her once or twice. Very quiet when she's sober, so no."

"That's a shame, because _I_ do. You may not know this, but she was the main reason behind, you know." She felt the tables turning ever so slightly and she balled her hands into fists to control herself. She couldn't help but crack a small smile as Oak's eyes widened once more as it dawned on him.

"Main reason behind what?" He breathed.

"Well, imagine the words _Arendelle _and _two years ago_ in one sentence. What other word would it most likely contain?" Her smile widened into a grin when Oak answered.

"_Bjorgman_."

* * *

The absurdity of the situation, that an eighteen year old girl was successfully blackmailing a grown, influential man, was not lost on either of them. It was a testament to the brutality that the words represented. Oak opened and closed his mouth a few times, words failing him each time. He eventually managed a question, though his voice was suddenly so very weak. "But - but it was your father that did _this_! Why would he help you?" He held himself up again, confident in his own safety.

"Well," Anna smiled, brushing a stray lock of hair behind her ear, "he _did _introduce me to a unicorn once. In a roundabout manner." She smiled as Oak cocked his head, completely thrown by the statement. "Anyway, I don't think you were listening. I said you should be scared of my _mother_. You know, the one who actually _did _everything? Well most of it, but enough to take _you_ down few pegs."

"And you think she would listen to you and not him?"

"Yep. In fact, you don't need to wait for confirmation or anything." She pulled out her phone. "I can do it right now."

"You can't be serious!" The rising pitch in his voice was music to her ears.

"Try me." She opened up her contacts and skimmed through, speaking aloud as she did. "I even know some of her accomplices quite well. Remember Florence?" Oak brightened. "I'll take that as a no." She found the person she was searching for, but kept talking. "I think another woman was Fauna or something weird like that?" Whatever hopes Oak had entertained were dashed, if the rapid change in his expression was any indication. Anna smiled, turning her phone around. "And let's not forget this one. _Mary W. _She was the key player in the whole affair you know. And she just so happens to be my godmother. She turned the phone so that the screen faced directly up and hovered her thumb over the _Call _button. "What to try your luck, _sir?_"

"Do you - do you really think you can get away with that?" He was desperate now. Anna decided not to tell him that _most _of her claims were based on conjecture. Conjecture based on her own memories and observations, but conjecture all the same.

"What are you going to do about it? Keep me locked up? Kill me? Good luck! Then my parents would _really _go to town with you. You know, there's just one thing that upsets me about this whole affair."

"And what would that be?"

"That you don't have someone - _anyone! _\- out there who loves you."

"Wh - what is that supposed to mean?"

"You know the story right? How the family got trapped in this... _vicious circle _of watching each other go mad and going crazy themselves? It's a shame you can only do that with a mirror or something." She grinned as he mopped his brow, sweat pouring over his face like heavy rain, and waited.

The ploy worked. Oak suddenly stood up. "You win, Miss Arendelle. Your father would be so proud of you. I'll get everything you need." He walked to the door, only for Anna to jump up and into his path, gripping the door handle herself.

"Do you really think I'm going to fall for that again? We're going together." She pulled the door open, letting Oak pass by before following him, the door swinging shut behind her.

* * *

_"Your father would be so proud of you."_

That sentence haunted her for the duration of their walk, setting her on edge, making her bite her lip and clench her hands together. She felt the strong urge to vomit yet again and desperately tried to justify her actions to herself. Ironically, the only phrase that worked also came from the giant in front of her.

_"Sometimes you must act unlike yourself... and apologize to yourself afterwards."_

_I've got a _lot_ of apologizing to do. I feel so... _filthy.

To distract herself from her thoughts she poked Oak in the back. He turned to her with a scowl.

"So, _do_ you know anything about her?"

"Yes. The basic facts. Normally I wouldn't but I took a particular interest in this case. I'm sure you understand why." He began to turn forward but Anna's second question reversed the motion.

"Basic facts?" Her breath caught in her throat before she followed it up with a third, more monumental question. "Like what?"

Oak smiled at her before opening a door and walking through. "For starters..." He held the door for Anna, who walked through, gazing back at him in wonder.

"I could tell you her name."


	7. Elsa

_"Elsa."_

_It had the intended effect. Both parents immediately gave her their full attention, dinner forgotten. Anna mentally patted herself on the back. She'd been planning her speech for hours, banking on both parents coming home together as per tradition. However only her mother arrived at the appointed hour, telling her Agdar had been caught up with "something urgent". Anna had wanted to tell her mother right then, but held her tongue. When her father finally arrived, he'd been too agitated to listen to her. She'd tried and failed a few times until now, as they all sat in the kitchen. To not risk losing their attention, she'd gone with something she chose to call her _precision strike method _(as silly as it sounded): a single, four letter word._

_Her parents shared a glance before her father nodded. "And what about her?"_

_"I saw her today. She's... she's beautiful and amazing and... she shouldn't be shut away in there."_

_Agdar chuckled, putting his fork down. "Oak gets softer everyday. All he needs is a pretty girl in front of him and he'll fold every time." Anna blushed brightly as her mother gasped. He apologised to them both before continuing. "So, you found her? You must have scared him pretty badly, given you don't have anything to offer - well, nothing he could get for free elsewhere. How did you get to him? Sweet talk his secretary?"_

_"Something like that." Anna ran through the conversation in her head before a thought struck her. "You aren't going to move her, are you? Don't you _dare_!"_

_"As if _you _could threaten _me_?" He picked his fork back up and resumed eating. Chewing a mouthful of his food, he added "There's not much point now, is there?" He swallowed. "I trust you to keep your mouth shut."_

_Anna bristled and opened her mouth to argue before her mother interjected. "So Anna, what did she - did _Elsa _\- have to say?"_

* * *

"Elsa. _Ehl_ \- _saa_." Anna rolled the name around in her mouth, getting a feel for it. She'd never heard the name before. Similar names, yes, but not this one. She picked up her phone from where it lay on her bedside cabinet and prepared to search for it. She fumbled momentarily, typing in a few searches to ensure she was using the correct terminology before she found her answer.

_So Elsa is short for Elizabeth? I guess that was pretty obvious. According to this it's a German name. Guess it came from mum then. I really, _really _like it. It sounds... well, it sounds _lovely_._

Her giddiness faded as she looked back at the first page of the folder Oak had given her. _No surname given. How could you dad?!_ She scanned the rest of the page, drinking in all of her sister's basic information. _I can't _believe _I missed her birthday! I missed it by, like, two weeks! Are you kidding me?! _She ran her fingers over the imperfections in the corner of the page; two small tears where a sheet had been removed.

An image of her sister.

When she'd asked Oak to remove all of the pictures, he'd raised an eyebrow. Anna had told him she wanted her first look at her sister to be lifesize, in full colour.

In truth, she was too scared of what she might see.

Phone in hand, she turned the page, now looking at a series of reports made by psychiatrists. Every so often, she'd have to pause and look up a term before continuing. Eventually she gave up on trying to understand every minute detail (_Because none of it will matter when I finally see her._) and just absorbed whatever she could. Her breaths grew short as she did, the problem only made worse by the various notes added in the margins. _How many "further complications" can a person _have_?! How could any of this - how could she possibly be worse?!_

When she closed the file, hiding it under her bed before collapsing atop it, relief occupied a significant portion of her mind. When her fingers stopped trembling, she waited for the sound of footsteps to fade from the other side of her locked door before dialing a number.

"Hello? I'd like to see one of your patients..."

* * *

A few days later, Anna walked into the clinic. The reception area was far more welcoming than the last one she'd visited, though her nerves were no less tense. In fact, they got worse with each step she took towards the desk. It was a brunet who greeted her with kind brown eyes and a warm smile. "How may I help you?"

"Yes. Um, hi. I'm - I..." She slammed her eyes shut, leaning on the desk as she forced herself to _calm down_. When she opened her eyes, the man was stroking his goatee with a worried look on his face, which cleared when their eyes met. "My name is Anna Arendelle. I phoned in yesterday? I wanted to see... someone."

He nodded before checking his computer, nodding again as he found the relevant record. "That's fine and dandy. Here to see Elsa, yes?" Anna was surprised to hear him mention her name so casually, but remembered to nod. The man called over a nurse to guide her, a woman with spiky brown hair and a simple pink dress. The man gave Anna an encouraging smile before she followed her deeper into the building. Anna returned the gesture with an appreciative one.

* * *

Anna felt a sudden boost in confidence as she and the nurse, whose name she learned was Rachel, walked towards Elsa's room. It was enough for her to ask for the room number ("427. Why?") before she bolted down the corridor ("Hey! Slow down!"), the wind against her face soothing her. She slowed down as she neared the room, eyes checking the numbers along the doors on either side. She was getting close! She beamed at an adorable Golden Retriever that had wandered outside a room and waved at its owners, a little old man sitting up in a bed chatting away with his grandson. She reached the door she was looking for and her hand rose to meet it. She stopped.

All the fears and doubts in her mind crashed down on her. Last time she failed to knock on a door, her anger had given her strength. Now she had nothing, so she stood there, hand raised, staring at the four letters adorning it.

_Elsa. She's right_ there! _Just knock! Why aren't you knocking?!_

Rachel caught up to her, placing a hand on her shoulder and gently moving her to one side. She knocked and they waited for what felt like ages before a voice emanated from the other side.

"Coming."

Anna heard footsteps as the speaker approached. She looked up to see Rachel looking down at her sadly. The door opened, just as she mumbled her final words to her.

"I'm sorry."

Anna couldn't find the words to reply as Rachel left, keeping her head down. The woman who'd opened the door watched her colleague leave before looking down at her. "You must be Anna."

"Yes."

"Come in." She ducked back inside. Anna was all too aware that she was positioned off to one side of the door; she couldn't look into the room from where she stood.

_This is it._

She gulped.

_This is going to be painful, I know, but I won't cry in front of her. She doesn't deserve that._

Before her nerve failed her, she stepped through the doorway. The nurse stepped to one side and Anna focused on the occupant of the single bed in the middle of the plain white room.

* * *

Elsa laid there, body held straight under a thin duvet that came up to her waist, dressed in a thin sky blue T-shirt. Her hair was done up in a messy braid which lay draped over her left shoulder. Anna stared at her sister, trying to memorise as much as she could. She stepped closer, trying to count the faint freckles dusting her nose and cheeks, nearly invisible against her pale skin. _Wait..._

It was then that Anna realised just _how_ pale her sister was. Her gaze went back down her body and she saw how thin and bony she seemed; the edges of her arms eerily sharp. As her eyes passed over the quilt she saw enough to suggest the same held true for the rest of her body. She looked back up and noticed that Elsa's eyes had yet to meet hers, instead fixated on the television across the room, their stunning blue surrounded by flaky dry skin. Anna rounded on the nurse who had been observing her actions with a grim expression. She opened her mouth before changing her mind, looking back at her sister.

"Elsa? Elsa, can you hear me?"

She didn't respond. Anna bit her lip before trying again.

"It's me. Anna. Your sister. Re - remember me? Elsa?"

Elsa still ignored her. Anna worried her lower lip before a hand landed on her shoulder. She turned to see the nurse had stepped forward, a sad smile on her face. "That won't work ma'am."

"Why not?"

"Elsa's not... good with strangers. You can't expect to her to just open up to you like that."

"But I'm _not_ a stranger. I'm her _sister_!" She turned back to the bed and dropped to her knees, looking up at Elsa's face. "You just need a reminder, don't you Elsa? Like this!" She ducked out of sight before her head and shoulders shot back up. "_Psst_!" She closed her eyes, resting her forehead onto the bed as she giggled. "Remember that Elsa? Apparently I did that all the time... as a kid." The last three words came out as a whisper when she looked up to see she had still not gotten Elsa's attention. She pulled herself to her feet, refusing to let the sense of defeat overwhelm her. "Okay, don't... don't panic. I probably just started that after - after you left. Don't worry. Mum - _our_ mum - says I did a lot of crazy stuff as a kid. Just wish I'd paid more attention to her ramblings..." She laughed nervously, talking more to herself which lessened the blow of being ignored yet again. The woman returned her hand to the redhead's shoulder and shook her head when Anna turned.

"It won't be that easy. You seem a very nice girl, but you have to take things slowly with Elsa."

Anna fought the urge to scream. "Why? Why can't I just..." She shook her head. _Control yourself._

"For starters," the nurse began slowly, "Elsa's never had a visitor before. This is all new to her and she needs time to get accustomed to that." Anna opened her mouth, but the woman raised a hand to silence her. "Furthermore, I know it's hard, but you have to accept that you need to do the work here. Elsa... Elsa struggles with the most basic of tasks. She can't eat or sleep or even leave this room without someone to support her. You need to consider this a fresh start. Miss Anna?"

Anna had turned back to her sister who seemed fully absorbed in the advertisement currently onscreen during the nurse's message, standing completely still. When she spoke, her voice was barely a whisper.

"That's a lie."

"Excuse me?"

"That. Is a _filthy LIE_. And you KNOW IT!" She finally snapped. Everything she'd gone through, all the heartache, rushed to her surface.

"Please, Miss - "

"Don't '_Miss_' me," her eyes spied the nurse's badge, inscribed with her name, "_Joan_. You don't know _anything_ about her! If you did, you'd know that she did a fine job looking after _me_ when I was growing up! Until I was two, when she got stuck with you, alright? Apparently, she did a pretty good job too, feeding me and hiding me from strangers!"

She heard a whine but ignored it. _It's that dog down the hall trying to distract me._

"So, if she could take such good care of me, if she could be so protective, do you _really_ think I'd believe you when you say she can't look after _herself_?! You don't even _care_ about her, do you?! I bet you're just doing the bare minimum to keep my parents out of gaol!"

A second whine. Joan raised a hand but Anna growled. _Stupid dog_.

"Like, she had her birthday about three weeks ago, right? What did you do for her? Give her cake? Throw her a party?"

"She - she doesn't like different foods," spluttered Joan, "and she finds it difficult to mingle with the other patients..."

"Is that really all you can say?!" Anna roared. "If she doesn't like cake, just give her a cupcake with a candle in it! And what do you mean _'she finds it difficult to mingle'_? You mean to tell me you keep her cooped up in here all the time?! Don't you have parties? Celebrate Christmas?" Joan tried to interrupt but Anna carried on. "If you really think she's too scared to sit with the other people here while you have Santa Claus running around or something, why wouldn't you let us know?!"

A third whine. Anna marched to the door with heavy footsteps and slammed it shut. _Who let that mutt in here anyway?!_

Still facing the door Anna continued. "She needs her _family_! So what if my mum and dad ignored her? You could have found me! There's nothing I wouldn't have done for her and now..." She closed her eyes, slammed her forehead against the door and pressed against it with her palm. "Now she doesn't even _recognise _me. I bet all of this is just some sick joke, making her like this. It is, isn't it? _Isn't it?!_"

A dry sob interrupted her this time. Anna looked up in surprise, staring at the door. _Dogs don't sob, do they? And I didn't hear it through the door..._

Horrified as the realisation dawned on her, she turned around.

Neither the sob nor the whines had come from the dog after all.

They had come from Elsa.

Anna hadn't wanted to acknowledge it at first but she'd known Elsa had scooted away from her slightly whenever she'd tried to talk to her. Now she lay curled up after rushing to the far side of her bed gasping for breath, her eyes unable to form tears yet blinking rapidly as she tugged at her braid, clumps of hair flying from it and cascading over her face and shoulders. Anna couldn't get past the sheer fear on her sister's face as she spasmed. Joan immediately ran to her side, hands on the blonde's shoulders, keeping her still and speaking in soothing terms, even when Elsa began to scream. Anna fell back against the door and slid to the ground as she felt the consequences of her actions sink in.

_The first thing you make her do after _sixteen years_, is freak out and _cry_?! Well done Anna. You hear that?_

_That is the sound of absolutely _no-one _clapping._

She managed to look up as Joan rocked Elsa, still determined to learn everything she could about her sister. Joan was rubbing circles into Elsa's stomach. Anna had heard of children that liked that particular sensation, was Elsa the same? Why was Joan keeping hold of Elsa's shoulder? Did she like that too? On the other hand, Anna noted that Elsa probably didn't like anyone touching her hair, as loose strands fell over her eyes even though Joan had had ample time to brush them away.

_That's just it Anna! You're _not _Joan. _You're _the one being selfish, not her. That was the most pathetic argument you've started in your entire life! What the _hell _is wrong with you?!_

When Joan finally set Elsa back down on the bed, she gave Anna a reproachful look. "Sometimes people get worse," she said simply, "and I know how you feel, but her being overprotective of you was never a good sign. I'm sorry."

Anna nodded as she pulled herself up, stumbling back over to the bed with her head down, too ashamed to meet the matron's gaze again. This altered her trajectory so when she knelt at the bedside she was positioned by Elsa's feet.

_Fitting._

"Elsa?" She spoke slowly this time, still keeping her head down. "I'm so sorry." She chanced a look. Elsa was still ignoring her but thankfully stayed still. "I guess sixteen years _is_ a long time, but I'm your sister. Anna. Pronounced the weird way. You know, _Ah_-na? Even if you don't remember me, I just want you to know I'm here now. I'll always be here for you, for as long as it takes. I hope you _do_ remember me someday though. The weird girl with the red hair?" She looked up and gasped.

Elsa was smiling. _Smiling_!

Anna straightened her back, her gasp fixed to her face as she gazed at her sister in wonder. She looked over to Joan, ready to exchange grins or thumbs up or _something_, but faltered.

Because Joan's smile was sad and she was shaking her head. Anna looked back at her sister and realised with a rising sense of dread that Elsa wasn't even looking at her; she was looking _over her shoulder_. Anna turned to face the television. The adverts had ended.

_"The doom and gloom up in his room are broken instantly!"_

Anna's face fell immediately. Elsa wasn't happy to see _her_, she just wanted to watch her show. Of course, why _would_ she want anything to do with someone like her, someone who only ever thought of herself? Anna felt tears build up in her eyes so shut them tight, bringing her head down onto the hard material at the end of the bed as she felt her heart thump her chest. She gasped for breath.

_I promised I wouldn't cry in front of you Elsa. I promised. I _promised! _I don't want to let you down ever again..._

Which is why when the tears fell she had already run out of the room.


	8. The Unicorn

It was called a farm but was more of an enclosure or miniature zoo that happened to provide food for its humble owners. Terminology aside, it had always been a place to find solace for Anna though she'd never understood why. Was it the smell? Was it the farmhands, their kindness and joviality being qualities she rarely saw in her normal life? Was it because no one she knew would ever visit it, which guaranteed her privacy? Whatever the reason, she knew all she needed to do was visit and her pains would fade. At least until she left.

But it wasn't working today. Whatever magic the place held for her had died. Once she would have gladly skipped among the trees or cooed over the ducks by the pond but now she felt lethargic, dragging her feet along the rocky paths with her head down, desperately trying to forget.

_I let her down. Elsa _needed_ me, but I let her down._

Memories of their meeting flashed in front of her eyes. She slammed them shut as she stumbled, flailing arms gripping a fence for support, but she could still see the room, the innocent nurse, the fear in her sister's eyes...

_What was I thinking? What on earth did I think I could do for her?_

Her heart had already resumed its erratic beating and her chest ached immensely. Anna pressed her back to the fence as sweat began to trickle down her forehead.

_I should have known that was going to happen. That I was going to screw it all up. I can't believe I was so... so..._

A number of adjectives came to mind as she forced herself back onto her feet, none of them pleasant.

_Mum and dad were right about me being a failure. I couldn't help the one person I _had _to help. With a sister like me, maybe she's better off with Joan. Someone who can actually _care_ for her._

Her breath fell short and she began wheezing as her trembles returned.

_She would be much happier without me in her life._

She staggered to her feet and forced herself towards the nearest pen, choking down her tears.

_I should just give up._

Having reached the pen, she placed a hand on a wooden post and leaned forward slightly, taking in the scene. A herd of reindeer was housed within, the males off to one corner fooling around while the does grazed. The fawns had enough room to run around and Anna couldn't help but chuckle as one tripped over itself. She looked up, scanning the area before her eyes alighted on the Unicorn.

In truth, the Unicorn was simply another reindeer, yet unique among them due to both his age and the fact that one of his antlers had broken off long ago. The stump and been filed down to a gentle curve to prevent grievous injuries to the other bucks. Anna watched as he walked forward on shaky legs towards the fawns who immediately ran to him, one nuzzling into his side. Anna smiled at the sight.

_That's so sweet. I can't believe he can still fit in._

She scoffed as the obvious moral floated in front of her. Did she really think she could force her way back into Elsa's life simply because a reindeer reminded her of her? The very notion was just insulting.

_What am I trying to tell myself here? That she can learn to live with us despite her differences? That other people will accept her? Learn to love her even if she sticks out?_

She shook her head, pushing the idea back.

_That's just clichéd. I can't compare my sister to a reindeer! That's absurd! And Elsa's case is so much worse. Stop clinging to straws Anna!_

She stopped as the memory emerged unbidden, overwhelming her.

* * *

_It had been two years ago, soon after her parents had rid themselves of the Bjorgman family. Anna had been beside herself with hysterics when she'd seen the news and had spent hours in bed, frozen in shock. She _knew _what had happened, who was responsible. She didn't speak to them for days until she began to crack under the stress. Her father had decided to start taking her out every few days as "compensation" (or a way of buying her silence). She had asked him to visit the farm with her, which by that time had already become a reliable refuge. Despite her prior experience with the area her father had insisted she not leave his side as he meandered from pen to pen at a snail's pace, wrinkling his nose at the various smells that assailed it._

_It hadn't surprised Anna in the slightest when he turned their supposed bonding time into a learning experience, cornering a farmhand and dropping a mountain of questions on top of him. How much did the enclosure cost to maintain? How much money did it make? Did the staff ever consider methods to maximise their profits? Anna was bored out of her mind yet was unable to stray more than a few feet away before Agdar's sharp cry recalled her._

_It was then that she saw the Unicorn out of the corner of her eye, grazing contentedly before looking up at a younger buck that approached it. They stared at each other, grunting before stepping back and lowering their heads. Anna frantically looked around to see if anyone would break up the fight but to no avail. How was it even fair when one reindeer had such a glaring disadvantage?_

_Before she could turn to the man her father was speaking to, she saw the two bucks charge into each other. The fight was over almost immediately, the Unicorn recoiling as the younger buck's antler crashed into his skull right beside his stump before collapsing in a heap of unsteady limbs. No one noticed but Anna. She watched it struggle to its feet and wondered if reindeer could feel pride. The young one returned to what could only be its friends, tossing its head triumphantly before this smaller herd wandered off, setting Anna's teeth on edge. She'd seen many a bully act the same way after shoving her to the ground or throwing her bag away._

He sure does.

_She tried to see the Unicorn's face but it had already turned away, shaking its head. Anna spared a glance at her father, still deep in conversation before stepping slowly along the perimeter of the enclosure she was currently standing by, ignoring the braying of the goats as her perspective on the sole reindeer began to shift..._

_"Anna? _Anna_! Get back here!"_

_She huffed and turned back to her father, but not before seeing the reindeer's face._

So do you.

* * *

Anna started, returning to the present before looking back up. The Unicorn was slowly plodding toward the does with the fawns in tow. Anna looked as the weariness left his face and a spring returned to his step. One doe rubbed herself into his side and he rested his head on hers before a farmhand arrived to fill their troughs. The inhabitants of the pen made their way over to it and Anna was astounded to see the Unicorn stand beside his fellow bucks as they ate; the missing tuft of fur on one identifying it as the aggressor who attacked him so long ago. There were no signs of jostling, no angry glares, nothing to indicate any lingering resentment between the two.

_Maybe Elsa's _not _so different. If a reindeer can start fresh and live life, so can she._

_I just need to try again._

She thought for a moment, formulating new, better plans.

_I have a memory of her. Something I can build off of. Her song and that book. I only know what the book looks like but I know the song pretty well, so I can work with that. Good. I have a place to start. I can make Elsa remember herself. I can _do this_._

"All this time she's been on her own." Anna looked up proudly. "But she's _survived_. I won't let her efforts go to waste."

Most of the younger reindeer had eaten their fill and were leaving. The Unicorn was one of the few left. A tag dangled from his neck, catching Anna's eye. She took a tentative step forward. She'd always wanted to know this particular animal's real name, yet had never gotten the chance. Now, as long as she was _slow_ and _steady..._

She got up close to the fence and bent her hip as she leaned. Frustrated that the tag was still hidden by the fence she leaned further, her left leg leaving the ground as she gripped the wood with her hand for support, unable to suppress the cheer in her throat when she finally read it. She straightened up and immediately blushed.

The reindeer was looking straight at her. Anna had the strangest sensation that if he were human, his eyebrow would have been lost to his hairline. Even as a reindeer though, she could practically hear him speaking with a confused, yet gruff voice. _"What are you doing?"_

She reached out to stroke him, but decided not to test her luck. _I need to save it for later after all._

"Nothing. I just wanted to thank you."

She beamed, her spirits truly lifting for the first time in weeks. The Unicorn tilted its head, as though intrigued by her words.

"So thank you Sven."


	9. No longer -

"Stupid Anna! Stupid! Stupid! _Stupid!_"

Anna hadn't eaten all day, which would get her into trouble with her parents. She didn't care. She hadn't done any homework or revision that would get her into trouble at school. She didn't care. What she did care about was that, despite tearing through her home as though possessed by a hurricane, she had been incapable of finding anything from her childhood, anything she could bring with her when she saw Elsa. She blamed herself for her rebellious streak a few years prior, where she had given into peer pressure and thrown out all of her childhood memories to finally be accepted by her so called friends. It marked the last time she ever tried to fit into a group.

"Stupid Lara..."

Now she lay on her bed, legs outstretched with a large sheet of paper in front of her, a cloud drawn in its center. Every so often, Anna would draw a line from it and scribble the stray thought or memory that popped into her head. She frowned as she looked at her progress, readying herself for a second outburst. The sheet was half-empty. She tapped her pen on her forehead as she struggled to think of anything from her childhood, any quirk she or her mother remembered that she could run past Elsa: surely one of them would ring a bell in her sister's head, right? Not for the first time that day she lamented a lack of baby photos and videos for her to peruse. When she was younger, the absence had been a cause for joy as she considered herself safe from teasing, never once asking herself _why?_

She bit her lip. She could only remember things about herself. The only thing she could remember of Elsa was a tune and the corner of a book. Hardly ideal, but she was determined to make ends meet. Her fingers stroked her brainstorm as she pondered this, passing over the cloud before they stopped. Anna looked at it. The cloud was blank, Anna being unable to think up a suitable title for her work. She turned the sheet over and looked at her first attempt. This time she had used a title, only to stop as soon as she'd begun to write the first letter.

"E" for Elsa.

She hadn't wanted to write her sister's name on the sheet because she was afraid of her parents finding it, though starting again had nagged at her. She grinned as a new thought occurred to her. She rolled off her bed towards her shelf, pulling it open and withdrawing a narrow strip of paper. Licking her lips, she retrieved four pens from her bed before sitting down at her desk: white, blue, turquoise and navy.

Elsa's colours.

Her tongue danced over her lips as she began to draw her sister's name in bold letters with her initial black pen, her pace slowing to a tortuous crawl as she struggled to make the letters perfect. Satisfied, she placed it to one side before hovering her hand over the rest, finally picking up the white pen. Just as slowly, she began to fill in the "E".

White was the colour of Elsa's hair and skin in the bright light of her room.

She put it to one side and picked up the blue pen. She coloured in the "L".

Blue was the colour of Elsa's eyes as well as her own, a symbol of their relationship and bond.

Next was turquoise for "S".

Turquoise was the colour of Elsa's shirt, simple yet perfect.

Anna finished her side project with the navy pen, shading in the "A".

Navy for the book Elsa had read to her as a child, a reminder of how close they could be.

It took her a few moments to realise she had finished, lost as she was in her thoughts. She immediately scrutinized her work, tilting it this way and that to ensure she hadn't coloured outside the lines or creased the paper in any way. Satisfied, she held the sheet up to the light. A strange urge overcame her and she brought the corner of the strip to her mouth and pressed it against her lips, blushing when she realised what she'd done. Giggling, she gently slid her work into a folder and, with utmost care, placed it in the top drawer.

A knock at the door interrupted her thoughts. Anna jumped, whirled around, ran to her bed and jumped on top of it before yelling: "Who is it?"

Her mother opened it. "What are you doing up here? I've been home for forty minutes and you haven't said a thing! What is that?" She nodded to Anna's half-complete brainstorm. "Is that homework?"

"Uh... yes! Yes, it is! Um, it's a project I need to hand in. Really complex stuff. Really needed to concentrate."

"Concentrate, huh?" Her mother grinned as she nodded at the television. Anna turned and her cheeks flushed.

_"By his magic little fish who grant his every wish..."_

"Um, that helps me concentrate?"

"Really?" Ithun raised an eyebrow. "Kids' shows help you concentrate?"

"Yes? Besides, it's not a kids' show!"

"Why, have you seen anyone your age watch this before?" Anna narrowed her eyes at the implication, but Ithun just chuckled. "Just don't take too long, okay sweetie? Dinner will be ready in another twenty minutes or so." And with that, she left. Anna sighed with relief before locking the door and pulling a chair up to the screen and sitting down. If she was going to reconnect with her sister, she needed to do her research after all, right? She withdrew a notebook from under her pillow, scribbled the episode's title across a clean page and began to take notes.

* * *

She hadn't expected her last visit to win her any friends at the clinic, so wasn't surprised to see Joan standing guard outside of room 427. Anna slowed to a walk as she neared her, head bowed. She saw Joan's feet turn beneath her dress to face her. "I'm really, really sorry Ms. Joan. About everything. I hope you can give me a second chance."

"Please, just call me Joan." Anna looked up, surprised. "And what you did was perfectly understandable. You're forgiven." She winked, but Anna still felt weak.

"What about Elsa? Doesn't she hate me now?" To be honest, she'd been stunned when Rachel had given her permission to return when she phoned in, fully expecting a lifelong ban from seeing her sister after what she'd done.

"I spoke with her. I asked her to be a bit more... _welcoming_ towards you, but..." She cringed, glancing back at the door before continuing, "I'm not sure she can accommodate that."

Anna hadn't expected her sister to treat her any better, but the words still hurt. "When you say '_accommodate_', what are you talking about? She - she can still talk, right?"

"Oh, of course she can!" She paused, hand frozen in the air where she'd waved away the redhead's question. "In a way. She _can_ talk, but her vocabulary is quite... limited. I mean, she knows my name and a few others and she knows how to ask for food when it's in front of her and the like, but..." She shrugged, leaving the sentence incomplete. Anna bit her lip, holding her hands together as she let the statement sink in.

"But, if I - you know - if I visit enough; if I can, I dunno, not upset her, would she - would she be able to say _my_ name?"

Joan placed a hand on her shoulder. "I hope she will one day." She turned away before closing her eyes. Anna watched as she seemed to argue with herself before nodding and turning back to her. "And you were right Anna."

"Me? About what?" _I did nothing but scream! What good did that do?_

"Elsa _does_ need her family. Remember when I told you she finds it difficult to eat and sleep, among other things?" Anna nodded. "It's... more complicated than that." She sighed, while Anna's eyes widened. _There's that word again. _"I'm not a doctor and I don't claim to understand the specifics, but Elsa's problems extend beyond what you've seen of her. I think she had some problems during pregnancy, maybe she didn't get enough nutrition or was born early or something, but she's _sick_, Anna." The words were spilling from her mouth. "She finds it difficult to even _exist_. She needs medical checkups all the time - I took her to the hospital yesterday in fact - and she's on all sorts of medication. Sometimes she wakes up at night screaming." She brushed tears from her eyes. Anna became aware that she too was silently weeping. "And the poor girl just doesn't know, doesn't understand what's wrong with herself, so she just screams and screams and screams... and it only gets worse as she grows older. Every day is another blessing for her, Anna." She paused to breathe and Anna noticed dark bags under her eyes. "I worry that one morning I'm going to come into work and she'll have just... stopped breathing."

Anna gasped, hand flying to her mouth. "_You don't mean that!_"

Joan gave her a sad smile. "I know it's silly, but sometimes I can't help but refuse to leave the room. Elsa... I'm scared that - I told you no one ever came to see her. She never had a _reason _to keep going. I'm scared that she just... gave up, that she only eats and drinks and sleeps because we tell her to." Anna opened her mouth but closed it when Joan gripped both of her shoulders. "But you're here now. You can be her reason to exist Anna. Elsa _needs_ you." Tears were welling up in her eyes again. Anna held Joan's arms.

"I won't let her down."

Joan beamed before trapping Anna in a tight embrace. Anna returned it with just as much fervour, only just noticing that the woman was not much older than the girl they were discussing.

* * *

Elsa hadn't changed. If it wasn't for the quilt resting over her legs at a different angle and the television airing another channel Anna would have thought she'd gone back in time. Elsa still wore the thin sky blue shirt, her hair braided and hanging over her shoulder and her skin just as pale. Anna felt her mind brimming with everything she'd learned since her last visit, letting her responsibilities sink in before she took her deep breath. Joan gave her an encouraging smile before tapping Elsa's wrist.

"Dear, Anna's here. Remember what I said? Say hi."

She tapped again but Elsa just brought her hand to her chest and grunted, eyes fixed to the screen. Joan gave Anna an apologetic look. Unperturbed, the redhead crouched by her sister's bed again.

"Elsa?" She spoke softly, choosing her words with care. "I saw you a few days ago. My name is Anna, remember? _Ah_-na, though I guess you've probably met more _Ann_-as in your life, so feel free to call me that if you want."

No reaction.

"Well, erm, I just wanted to apologise for my last visit and I hope we can make a fresh start."

Still nothing.

"Okay, Joan said I should reach out to _you _instead of expecting you to reach out to me, so I went away and did a lot of research, um, I found that show you were watching last time and managed to see a lot of episodes from it, so if you want we could watch some together or I could tell you about my favourite ones and you can just nod or shake your head or something..."

She hung her head.

_Wait!_

_The _recent_ stuff isn't working, but maybe..._

"Elsa, do you remember anything from before you left? From when we were still together?" _Please let this work._ "I looked everywhere for a picture of me when I was two or younger because I thought it could jog your memory, but I couldn't find one. I guess we were in too many together for mum and dad to keep them." She forced out a chuckle. "But I remember something, and if you do too, maybe we could connect over that?"

Elsa wasn't responding to her, but she persevered.

"I was so young, so I can't remember everything, but I remember one night I was in bed and - and I was, I dunno, not sleepy? And then you were there and I guess you were reading to me or something? I think it was a big, blue book. Oh! And it was square." She traced the shape with her two forefingers. "Do you remember that Elsa? Reading to me at all?"

Nothing. Anna sighed, a war inside her mind where she fought the urge to give up.

"It's my fault. It's not fair of me to expect you to remember that when I can't." She smiled up at the unresponsive face. "But, I _do _remember the next part really well. I guess the book didn't work for me, or maybe it did, but anyway you put it on your lap I think and you started patting me on the stomach and - and then you sang. Do you remember that Elsa?" She paused. "Okay, maybe if I - if I sing it for you? Do you think that'll help?" She blushed and hid her face in her hands before looking back up. "Sorry!" She giggled. "I've never sung before, so bear with me!" She closed her eyes and let the lyrics float in front of her mind's eye. "Okay..." She took a deep breath.

_"Hush little baby, don't say a word,"_

"_Mama's gonna buy you a mockingbird."_

_"And if that mockingbird don't sing,"_

_"Mama's gonna buy you a diamond ring."_

_"And - "_

Here Anna cracked an eye open to spy on Elsa, before fully opening both, her face falling as she fell backwards onto her rear. Still nothing. If anything, Elsa looked irritated. She got onto her knees, placing a hand on the mattress for support. "Elsa, did that really not ring a bell at all? _Hush little baby?_" She let the tune slip into the words, but to no avail. "Elsa please, you can't do this to me. Please sis? _That's the only thing I remember of you!_ Please, _please_ don't let that memory be a fake! Elsa?" Her vision grew blurry and she furiously brushed away her tears. Joan saw the tensing of the redhead's shoulders and prepared herself for another outburst. Anna buried her face into Elsa's mattress, as if her sister's scent could stop her breaking down again.

_No one wants a daughter like that!_

"Not now dad..." Her tone was quiet and dead, voice muffled by the quilt.

_She was probably the dumbest person on that screen!_

"Please dad, just get out of my head..." Her shoulders shook as she struggled to keep her voice level.

_She was older than you by two, three years yet you were better with words than she was!_

"Dad _don't_! Wait..."

She looked up and turned to Joan. "Elsa was five at the time at most, right? And - and apparently she had trouble with words, so maybe that's what's happening! Maybe she changed the words around or - or pronounced them differently and that's why she doesn't recognise it! Because you saw her, right Joan? She frowned when I sang that! She - That was the first time she responded to me!"

_Other than when I terrified her of course._

"So, you know, it resonated with her in some way! This is great! I'm onto something!"

_I have to be._

Joan could almost hear the gears whirring inside Anna's head as she bit her lip, fingers wriggling as her eyes darted from left to right and back again. "And what would you have me do?"

"Oh! Well, thinking out loud really helps me - you know, _think_. Is it okay if I talk at you for a bit and you can just, I dunno, nod or shake your head or something?" Joan nodded and Anna beamed at her. _That also stops people thinking I'm crazy for talking to myself. Just this once. _She cleared her throat.

"Let's begin! Okay, first word! Hush. Let's see, four letters, three unique, one syllable. _Hush. Hush? Hoosh? _Nah, that's Scottish or Irish or something I think, Elsa wouldn't say that, so '_Hush_' stays as it is, right?" She looked at Joan, but before she could react Anna had moved on. "Second word! Little. This time it's six letters, four unique, two syllables. Erm, _litt-ul? lit-tel? _Do either of those sound right? No, no they don't, so that stays as it is as well, right Elsa?"

Joan couldn't help but smile when Anna paused longer for her sister than herself, but how could she hold it against her?

"Next word. Baby. Let's see... _baay-bee? Bay-beh? _Actually that first one sounds promising, doesn't it? Yes it does. Moving on..." Anna analysed the remainder of the line in the same way, Joan quickly losing track of her train of thought as Anna's speech became faster and faster. "Mama? Two unique letters, two syllables. I know some places use '_Papa_' instead, but why would Elsa do that? So let's see, do you think she'd say '_Mummy_' instead? She might I guess, but... hmm. What about '_Momma_' - nah, that's American. Elsa wouldn't say that, would she? So maybe she said '_Mummy_' instead. Good. We have something now!"

"What about '_Gonna_'? Five letters, four of them unique, two syllables... I can't really think of any way to interpret that differently as is. Maybe she said '_going to_'? But that wouldn't fit would it? That's another syllable and I'm sure she kept the rhythm going..." She shook her head. "Let's put that in the maybe pile." She quickly moved through '_buy_', '_you_' and '_a_' before slapping her head with her palm with a huff for forgetting the most obvious word of them all.

"Mockingbird! Of course! Anna, you're such an idiot! If there's one word she'd find difficult it's that! Okay, there's... a lot of letters in that one, most of them unique I _think_." Her pink tongue poked out from between her lips as she attempted to visualise the word before she shrugged. "Yep, that sounds about right. Okay, so three syllables and a lot to work with, so let's do it! Okay Joan, I'm gonna split it in two alright? '_Mocking_' and '_Bird_'. Let's start with the smaller one. Bird has four unique letters and one syllable. _Bird? Boid?_" She wrinkled her nose and shook her head. "Nah, that - isn't that a Brooklyn accent or something? Actually I'm stereotyping now, aren't I? I really shouldn't do that, sorry! But no, Elsa wouldn't say that, would she? So we'll leave it as it is and move on to the big one: '_mocking_'. So, two syllables there. _Mock-ing. _Or maybe _moe-king? Mo-king? _Focus Anna! It's a big word, of course she'd simplify it! You would too! Think! Mocking. Mocking. Mocking. Mockingmockingmockingmockingmockimockimockimockimo - "

_Mocky._

"Mockybird!" She said triumphantly. "Joan! It makes sense, doesn't it? Isn't that how little kids talk, you know, when they say things like '_icky_' and '_owwy_' and stuff?" She finally gave Joan enough time to respond. Caught off guard, she quickly nodded. "Perfect! Elsa?" She turned to her sister. "Brace yourself!" She shivered with anticipation before breaking into song.

_"Hush little baby, don't say a word,"_

"_Mama's gonna buy you a mockybird."_

_"And if that mockybird don't sing,"_

_"Mama's gonna buy you a diamond ring."_

_"And -_ what is _that_?!"

A strange droning sound filled her ears and she looked around, trying to find the source. "Do you have a radio in here or something?" Joan shook her head, then bit her lip as Anna resumed her search. The redhead's eyes fell on Elsa. She glanced at the TV and back. "I really hope you don't have a thing for the weather lady." She froze before hastily adding: "But it's okay if you do! Nothing wrong with that! But I hope it's not her." She waited for a moment. "Did anyone ever tell you you're amazing?"

_Of course not._ The drone stopped for a moment before resuming anew.

"Because you are Elsa. You totally, absolutely are."

She laughed.

"You're tone deaf, but you're humming and you're smiling and I love you I love you I _love_ you!"

Maybe one day Elsa would face her, or say her name.

"I love you Elsa."

For now, her smile was enough.

"I really do."


	10. - an only child

_Anna had had a bad day. She had fallen out with her last friend, gotten into a mountain of trouble at school and had struggled to put up with an equally frustrated father. Agdar had been quick to criticise her for her passivity, demanding she take better care of herself and accept her responsibilities._

_"No! You mind your own responsibilities!"_

_It was stupid and childish. For many years to come she would consider it the most lopsided argument she'd ever started; something far too easy for her father to tear down with a tirade of how he had too many responsibilities to handle whereas she was too foolish to accomplish even the most basic of tasks by herself, finally telling her to get lost._

_She sought refuge in the kitchen, slumped in a chair, head on the dining table as she listened to her mother work._

_"Why do you always cook for us? You get help for everything else." It was a question she'd wanted to ask for a long time._

_Her mother turned, pan in hand, and smiled. "There are only so many ways to clean a shirt Anna." She put the pan down and removed her apron. "But if you think I'm going to let anyone else determine what my little girl does or doesn't eat, you're sadly mistaken." She sat beside her and poked her belly. Anna giggled. "Because I'm the only one you can't sweet talk out of giving you your seven a day. Besides," she winked, "it's why your father can never win a fight with me, because if he doesn't listen..." She gave Anna a thumbs up, then turned it upside down. Her warm smile transformed into a wide grin._

_Anna couldn't help but return it._

* * *

"Who sent Elsa away?"

Ithun froze. It was nighttime. She had been stroking Anna's wild hair, the girl already wrapped up in her bedsheets.

_Whomever it was, mission accomplished, but who thought of it first? _Mother and daughter studied each other's faces. _Please don't let me be wrong._

Ithun sighed. "It was for the best Anna."

_But I don't want to be right either._

"What do you mean?"

"She was too dangerous for you."

_What am I saying? There is no "right" here! Just "wrong" and "wrong"!_

"That's not what Dad said."

"Your father says a lot of things."

"But... sending her away made her worse!" It pained her to admit it, but she hoped her mother would understand.

"Anna, Elsa's in a better place." Her voice was firm. "I know it hurts, but you need to accept that."

Anna shut her eyes for a moment. "You didn't just come here to say goodnight, did you?"

Ithun straightened her back. "No, actually. I left my charger at work, do you mind if I borrow yours? You have..." she picked Anna's phone up, "56% right now and I'll give it back in the morning if you want to top it up a bit more. Is that alright?"

"Yeah. Yeah, fine."

Ithun smiled as she disconnected the phone and wrapped the wire around her wrist. She walked to the door and turned back.

"Goodnight dear. Sleep tight."

Anna could only grunt, her mother's words and tone of voice still seared in her mind.

_How could you?_

* * *

The morning found Anna in a foul mood. "Seven percent mum! I can't get through the day with seven percent!"

"Seven percent? Where did the other fifty go?"

"Poor battery!"

"That would account for maybe ten, or is your battery really _that_ bad?" She raised an eyebrow.

Anna opened her mouth to argue but closed it again, flushing. _Maybe_ she'd yelled at Lara the last time they'd met in person and _maybe_ the brunette had texted her last night to apologise for whatever Anna thought she'd done. Of course, the only civil thing to do was to apologise in turn and make some small talk as a form of reparation. In hindsight, maybe she didn't have to have asked so many questions to show she was sorry, but Lara always loved to talk. Once the other girl had gone to sleep, Anna had found herself with a phone in hand and her tiredness gone, so it only made sense to resume visiting websites to place and track orders, impatiently waiting for her remaining articles to arrive.

At least, it'd made a lot of sense at the time.

"Well, you said you'd give it back to me first thing in the morning and you didn't, so _there_!" She crossed her arms.

"Now that I'm guilty of." Ithun nodded to the wall. "There's your charger. Then again, if you'd woken up on time, maybe you could have charged it for longer than... ten, fifteen minutes?"

Anna grumbled as she marched over to the cable and plugged it into her phone, flicking the switch. "You do realise I have to keep it turned off practically all day right? Thanks a lot."

"If I recall correctly your tutors don't approve of phones at all, do they? You're welcome to leave it here for the day. In fact, I insist."

"...You know what? I'm fine with just turning it off."

* * *

Even without a phone to distract her Anna found it difficult to concentrate. Despite all the time and money she'd spent, she couldn't find the one thing she really needed. She confided in Lara, asking if she knew of any shops that held onto products for extended periods.

"What about the local charity shops? They're full of old stuff no one wants, aren't they?"

Anna slammed her head into her desk for not thinking of them earlier, warding off Lara's shriek with hurried thanks while rubbing her forehead.

* * *

The first shop was bright and colourful, clothes and books on display in multiple shapes and sizes. Anna approached the lady at the till - Aggie, according to her name tag. Anna nodded at the tome she had just closed. "Hello ma'am! I don't suppose you have a list of everything you have in stock in there?"

She was painfully aware of how awkward a first impression she had just made.

"Well yes, of course. What are you looking for?"

"Does your database go further than ID-ing stuff beyond its date and price and... stuff?"

"For some items, yes. Could you please tell me _what you're looking for_?"

"It's a book."

"Can you give me a bit more information?" She raised an eyebrow, thoroughly unimpressed. "Its name or author for instance?"

"I don't know those. But I _do_ know it's sixteen years old, blue and shaped like a large square."

Aggie scowled while Anna beamed.

The second shop also proved fruitless. The third shopkeeper had Anna wait by the till for ten minutes before returning with a huge pile of books fitting her description. Anna had gone through them all, turning them this way and that to recreate her memory, but couldn't feel a spark or strong affinity for any of them. She thanked him anyway and moved onto the fourth shop.

This time the shopkeeper led Anna to the storage room, helping her find every book fitting her vague description before returning to her post.

Anna suspected the woman had led her there simply to avoid the awkwardness that followed her wherever she went.

She sat on the floor, again turning each book in her hand, squinting at them, holding them up to the light before dropping them with a sigh. She did this for many more before she held a book above her and felt a resounding _click_ in her mind.

_Gotcha!_

She wasn't sure what it was about this particular book that made her feel that way, but the strong sense of right overwhelmed her during each of the tests she put it through. She returned it to the pile and carried the lot to the till, trying not to squeal.

Besides, even if she was wrong she still had a small library at her disposal.

* * *

She marched into the clinic with her arms begging her to stop and let the bags down, but she denied them their rest. She grinned at the receptionist, deep in conversation with Rachel as she passed. When they turned to her, she had already glided into the hallway, eager to see her sister again. She bubbled with excitement and confidence. She'd bonded with her through a half-remembered song after all; who knew what a book, a physical memento of their childhood could jog in her memory? Anna couldn't wait to find out.

_You can be her reason to exist Anna._

_Elsa _needs _you._

"I won't let her down." She repeated. She could already picture their future together. Joan had offered to teach her how to prepare Elsa's favourite foods, so she could start feeding her. Anna had promised to take her sister out on walks around the building before taking her to the park or her beloved farm, anything to get her out of the room she never left without attending some medical examination. And one day, Elsa could leave the place altogether and _come home_. If their parents didn't want her back Anna would find a _new_ home, for just the two of them. On a smaller scale, she'd already made plan upon plan to execute on her next birthday. She paused her thoughts as she got to Elsa's corridor. She picked up the pace, counting the door numbers as they flew by.

"421..."

"423..."

"425..."

_427._

Anna stared into the room. Then she looked at the door. The room again, her eyes drinking in every detail. Her breath caught in her throat as her body caught up to her brain. Her arms went slack, heavy bags biting into palms that stopped feeling. Seconds passed. She felt her body tilt, her shoulder slam into the door frame. She began to tremble.

* * *

Gerda had tolerated the stranger for quite some time, staying silent as she worked while blocking out the sound of choked sobs emanating from the doorway. She heard the unmistakable sound of a body sliding to the ground before the sobs broke out into tortured wails. She sighed from where she stood by the window. Moving her duster to her armpit she walked around the bed to stand in front of the girl, ensuring no dirt fell onto the fresh new quilt or the cleaned carpet. The redhead struggled to face her but quickly gave up, head falling back to her chest with her legs askew, large books spilled from dropped bags.

"Excuse me miss. While I bear no ill will towards you I must ask you to vent your grievances elsewhere." She winced at the unintended harshness of her words. "I arrived late as is and it is paramount that I finish cleaning this room. After all," she checked the door.

"...young Tod will be moving in within the hour."


	11. Let it go?

_"You aren't going to move her, are you? Don't you _dare_!"_

_"There's not much point now, is there? I trust you to keep your mouth shut."_

* * *

_Anna forced herself to her knees and fumbled with the spilled contents of her bags. She retrieved a few books before her fingers began scraping the carpet, her thumb brushing against one more. She didn't notice the plump brunette gathering her books or pulling her to her feet, slipping the remaining bags into her loose grip before nudging her into the corridor. Anna marched forward like a tin soldier, empty and oblivious. Something stopped her. She looked up. A second brunette, younger than the first. Short, spiky hair. A simple pink dress. What was her name again?_

_Rachel?_

_She took Anna's bags in one hand. Once Anna would have wondered how she had the strength to do so. She would even have asked. Now she could only follow the gentle pressure of Rachel's other arm, wrapped around her shoulders._

_Anna couldn't tell how long they'd been walking to get to the foyer. Minutes? Days? Her feet trod across the hard floor and the arm lowered her into a seat. She heard... something that wasn't nothing. It wasn't until she felt the gentle vibrations along her back that she recognised the sounds as words. She looked up to see the nurse - Rachel, definitely - talking to a man. She'd seen him somewhere as well..._

_"...eye on her? Please?"_

_"Of course."_

_"I'd do it myself, but I just _can't_..."_

_"I know, don't worry about it. Just tell Max I'm taking my break early."_

_The man bent down and they kissed before trading places. Rachel walked backwards, her eyes never leaving the young girl. Her lips quivered before the receptionist gave her an encouraging look. Rachel looked away, heading down a second corridor before her heart overruled her head. Anna could have seen this but she had curled up in her seat, body trembling._

_"Anna, I think some fresh air would do you good. Would you like to sit outside?"_

_She didn't respond, but he helped himself to her bags, then coaxed her from the chair. Fingers seizing, she followed him. Then listened._

_Elsa was a light sleeper, often waking at night, screaming or crying. Last night she had slept well. A nurse had examined her, noting her usual weak pulse and low temperature before leaving the room, praising his luck. She'd been in the same state when he left for an unscheduled break._

_He returned late. But what did it matter?_

_He would never have to watch over her again._

_Anna realised she hadn't seen Joan. She had loved Elsa too. Anna knew Joan would blame her for what had happened. It was all her fault._

* * *

Anna walked through dark gates opened by an old man. Recognition passed between them, inevitable after so many years. He smiled. Waved. Anna couldn't match his enthusiasm, but smiled weakly in return. Even if her hands were free, she doubted she could have waved back. The man understood, nodding before his eyes fell on the next person to enter the vast expanse of green and black.

* * *

_One Month_

_She killed Elsa._

_It was the only thing that made sense. Her sister had been fine. Ill perhaps, but safe. Stable. She hadn't improved, but she had been alive. Then Anna had waltzed into her life with dreams of happy endings and ruined everything. If she had learned to read her sooner, she could have kept herself away. Elsa could have survived._

_But Anna knew she wouldn't have thought that way. She was too stubborn, too stupid, unable to learn from her mistakes or look past her own desires. She'd wanted her sister back. She would have kept trying, however many times Elsa rejected her advances. Elsa had tried. When they first met she had begged Anna to leave her be and it had broken her heart. But she had come back. She had deluded herself into thinking she could make Elsa happy, but had only pushed her over the edge. The least she could do was give Elsa the peace she sought and fight the urge to follow her._

* * *

Loose stones rolled under Anna's feet as she walked down a path so familiar she could traverse it blindfolded. She looked across the open field and her eyes fell on a crouched woman also clad in black. The stranger looked up. The women shared a sad smile.

She reached her destination. She looked at the simple black rock and bent down, resting the object in her hands against it. She sat down on grass flattened by the frequency of her visits. She leaned back on the side of the granite and closed her eyes.

* * *

_Two Months_

_An afternoon found her in the living room, university brochures scattered on the coffee table. Her father sat in the sofa on her left, skimming through and comparing two sheets of paper. His already furrowed brow creased with every passing second. He bit his cheek and held one up to her._

_"I don't understand. Why do you want to go to this one when this," he held up the second sheet, "is so much better?"_

_"I don't care about ratings."_

_"Why not? Besides, it's closer than the one you want; you could come home for weekends instead of being cooped up in a dorm all year."_

_"Maybe that's what I'm looking for."_

_"What do you mean? Anna?"_

_"I just need to get away from… the stench."_

_"What stench?"_

_A pause. Anna dug her nails into her palms._

_"Anna, talk to me."_

_"_You!_"_

_With that she leapt to her feet, eyes wild. She wailed. Ran from the room. She tripped over the stairs before she entered her own, locking the door and collapsing on her bed, burying her face in her pillow and screaming. She pressed it over her mouth and nose, desperate for release, but her face grew too hot. She rolled over and gasped for breath, thinking again of Elsa and how she had done what Anna could not._

_She killed Elsa._

* * *

Anna pulled a simple object from her jacket: a small rectangular frame.

With a picture of her sister.

She was smiling. Anna traced her finger over the outline of her forehead and small nose, finishing at her chin. Elsa was watching television, the only thing that could give her that spark in her eyes and bloom in her cheeks. The picture was solely of the girl, so Anna couldn't see what the show was. Joan hadn't remembered either. Was it the same show she'd seen her watch so long ago? She pushed the thought aside and focused solely on the blonde. She looked again at the pale face, tilted away yet radiant, hair shining in the light streaming through her window. She looked down at her body still wrapped up in her quilt, but with the familiar light blue shirt clinging to her bony torso and arms. She was the most beautiful woman she'd ever known. Her only issue with the picture was its perfection.

She wasn't in it.

Nor was she the one to take the picture; Joan had, years before she'd learned of Elsa's existence. It commemorated the end of a difficult period in the blonde's life. Anna could have taken a photo on the day she made Elsa smile, but had been too callous and unprepared, too Anna to do so, confident she'd have all the time in the world and many more smiles to immortalize. Foolish. Now, she had nothing.

No smiles. No shared memories. Nothing to prove that she, Anna, had ever known Elsa, her older sister. Nothing to prove she'd been in the same room as her. Nothing to prove she'd made her smile. Nothing to prove she'd wanted nothing more than to make her happy. Nothing to prove she had met this incredible woman she loved with all her heart and soul.

She didn't know anything about her. She knew her name, her birthday and what she looked like. What else? She had begged Joan for Elsa's favourite foods, her habits, her favourite shows, toys - and for what? What did any of that matter when she would never see the light in her eyes, the smile on her lips or hear the sound of her voice? Anna would never have those luxuries. She didn't even know when Elsa died. The nurse had left before midnight and arrived after. How could she call herself a sister?

She didn't notice the tears until her eyes burned and her breath grew ragged.

She made no efforts to stop.

* * *

_Two Years_

Knock knock.

_Anna looked up from her desk, puzzled. She wasn't expecting anyone at this hour - any hour really. She cast her mind back. Had she paid the rent? Yes... did she miss any meetings or lectures? Not to her recollection, though that didn't mean anything._

Knock-knock knock.

_Frowning, she placed her pen on the page and walked to the door. She opened it._

_It was her father._

_Her eyes passed over his haggard expression. The beard she had never seen in her life. She saw the misery in the eyes that once shone with mirth, the glint of his golden watch now the only illumination he could provide. She saw the disheveled clothes and fatigue. She knew how many hours he'd driven to see her. She knew why._

_The door slammed shut before he opened his mouth._

_Anna walked back to her seat and dragged it forward, retrieving her pen. Cursing the loss of her train of thought she ran through her writing before resuming. She was falling behind with her work and could do without the noise still coming from the hallway. She remembered the tall girl with long red hair she'd seen from the corner of her eye in those wasted seconds, looking through her own door with surprise. No doubt Anna had made herself more of an outcast._

_She didn't care._

_The next day she learned the shut-in Princess of the university was now a full blown Ice Queen._

_She didn't care._

* * *

Ten Years

"Anna?"

She started. Before her stood a young girl whose hair blazed under the sun. She held up her own offering and Anna sniffed, nodding. The child gave her a nervous smile before setting her daisy chain down, then stepped back. Anna looked at the dainty thing, crafted meticulously after days of scouring fields for the perfect colours. The chain had three: white, blue, light blue. Elsa's colours. Anna remembered reassuring the girl at night that her gift was wonderful before she could sleep. She loved her for it.

The blonde looked at her, apprehensive. Anna managed another weak smile, nodded her approval and fell back. She shut her eyes, tears still falling down her cheeks.

"Please don't cry."

Again, she opened her eyes to see the girl looking down at her.

"You promised you wouldn't."

Another promise she'd failed to keep. She couldn't help but slam her eyes shut, tighter this time, with her shoulders heaving as she fought back her sobs, teeth scoring gashes in her lower lip, struggling to keep her mouth still and obscuring her reply.

"I'm sorry."

Anna bent forward. Her misery flared before a cool warmth enveloped her. She opened her eyes again in shock and found her vision obscured by a sea of gold. She surrendered herself to the hug, draping an arm around the child's back and running her right hand through the girl's bright, soft hair.

"Please don't cry Mummy."

Anna gasped. She tightened her embrace, pulling the girl closer. She buried her head in golden tresses, reveling in their scent before pulling back so they could lock eyes once more. Blue met blue.

"I'll try."

She couldn't trust herself to make the promise. She vowed to live by the words nonetheless. Eyes still watering, she wrapped her arms around the girl again and felt her do the same. She gripped the picture in her hand and felt the child's breath ghost over her neck as she giggled.

"You're crushing me!"

Anna finally laughed, choking away the tightness in her throat, tears tickling her face. She blew golden strands from her mouth and nose.

"Trying to get rid of me? You'll have to try harder than that!"

Anna held the girl closer. She winced but Anna continued speaking to her and their silent host, two wreaths now resting beneath her name.

"Because I'll never let you go again Elsa."

* * *

_A/N: I will be answering questions about this story in the week beginning 29th December 2014 (but don't worry about being late) on the /r/FrozenFanfics subreddit. You can find a link to the site on my profile page. If you don't have a reddit account, it doesn't take long to set up, but feel free to leave your questions as reviews to this chapter as well - via guest accounts perhaps, to account for the one review per chapter rule? I'll copy any questions I see here to reddit and answer them if I can. Thank you for all of your support and take care._


	12. Can't hold it back anymore

Disclaimer #1: I do not own Frozen. That joy belongs to Disney. More specifically WDAS.

Disclaimer #2: This is not the end of Anna's story. A lot of people criticised the last chapter and I understand why, I really do. I've also made some changes to it. I haven't changed the plot but some of you said it was a bit hard to follow. I hope you approve of my attempt to correct that.

* * *

A milestone has been reached and I want to take the opportunity to say the "thank you"s I've been bottling up. One for each of you, who thought this was worth reading, reviewing, following or favouriting - I'm sure you hear this a lot but getting an email saying "Hey, someone thinks your story was worth their time!" is an amazing feeling. Of course the actual wording differs but that's what those emails mean to me. Even those who criticise me do so because they thought my story was worth their attention before whatever upset them happened. I appreciate that too.

There are a few people I want to thank in particular who helped shape An Only Child as it was being written. I thank UltimateCyanide and cupcakesplease, two fellow authors I met on reddit who proofread AOC into something much more refined than what it would otherwise have been. I also thank the wickedly talented Gabrielle Andhita for letting me use her amazing Elsa portrait as a Cover Image.

There are a few others I would like to thank who made an impact on me as I wrote and published this story. Minerva Empirav, for letting me into her community. Nixie Delor for an impromptu lineart of Chapter 7. ReVaQ and From101WithLove for the discussions we had on reddit as I posted each chapter there. And thank you to all those who participated in my AMA. I enjoyed answering your questions and what's more, they helped me! Talking with people helped me understand their perspectives and learn more about myself as a writer. For those who want to take part, you can find a link to it on my profile page alongside links to every one of the people above. If you don't have a reddit account and don't wish to make one, feel free to leave your questions as reviews so everyone can see them. I'll answer via PM and will also update this chapter or the reddit page with your permission. Check the bottom of this chapter!

One more link I have to offer you is a soundtrack (a YouTube playlist) I've been compiling as I wrote this story. Some tracks you may recognise from films and games but most are the works of Kevin Macleod. I've mentioned "Anna's Themes" in Author Notes throughout the story; they're also included. I'd just like to highlight what I felt was a fitting Main Theme - _Dear My Friend_ from _Sonic Unleashed_. It refers to friendship but I feel it's not too far off from what Anna wanted to be for Elsa and what she wanted Elsa to be for her.

I repeat that Anna's story does not end on that grassy plain. Life goes on, however painful the passage of time may be, and you'll see Anna experience that. I'd like to announce a new story - live now. Right now! - titled An Only Child: Looking Back. This story is both a prequel and midquel to AOC, detailing backstories and a few "offscreen" moments with some characters who might not have gotten the spotlight they deserved when it centred on Anna in a one-shot format. There are those who may wish to leave Anna's past and future to their imaginations and I respect their decision, but I hope they will give it a chance nonetheless. You'll also find a hint to Anna's future therein. I may update this story for anything monumental if need be, but no promises.

Finally, a lesson on following your gut instinct. Early readers of Chapter 8 may notice something off if they were to read it now; I wrote the chapter to satisfaction and let it be for a few months. I refined it with help from my proofreaders at the end of the hiatus following Chapter 7 but decided to add a few lines I thought would highlight Anna's emotional state at the last minute. I thought it disrupted the flow of the chapter but convinced myself it was fine andit wouldn't hurt.

I was wrong.

While the chapter wasn't a complete disaster, I realised that the addition was doing much more harm than good and had a far more negative connotation than I was comfortable with. Needless to say, it was removed (thanks for the pep talk you two). The moral of the story is to follow your gut instinct and keep a lookout for those "clicks" that sound when you think the right thing. The right name or character quirk can do wonders for your ability to write a scene or chapter and, beyond refining it, you may be better off leaving it alone once you lift pen from paper - or fingers from keyboard.

Here's the offending few lines from the opening of Chapter 8, with a few surviving lines on either side for context. Afterwards I'll have a summary of the questions I've been asked. As I said earlier, I'll try and update it every so often if I can. Thank you all once more, though I can never say that enough: _Thank you._

* * *

She staggered to her feet and forced herself towards the nearest pen, choking down her tears. Her hand dove into a pocket of her dark jeans and drew a strip of tablets. She popped one out with unsteady fingers and tossed it into her mouth. She swallowed without water. She returned her painkillers to their home as one thought shone with clarity.

_I should just give up._

* * *

These are questions asked of me on my AMA as well as other reddit threads and reviews. As I said above, stay tuned for updates!

From101WithLove and NinaWindia asked me about cameos. Grand Pabbie, Hans, Rapunzel, Eugene, Gothel and the Stabbingtons appear under different names at least once, alongside Olaf and minor characters from Frozen and other films with similar or identical names.

Doggie015 asked me what my inspiration was. Believe it or not I dreamt the story up and decided to write it a day later. It was a weird thing, but as it happened I somehow knew what the backstory was and gut instinct helped me tie everything together. I discussed the dream on reddit as I started writing. Again, you can find a link in my profile. As a side note, I read A Snowflake in Spring after starting work on this. I think it's a great story and though the barebones premise may be similar I didn't copy CelerySticks' work, I swear! But tell her I said hi!

Following on from that plea, From101WithLove (among many others) asked me about the ending. AOC was always going to end this way. But remember, Anna has further to go!

Finally, From101WithLove, Protoestrella1, LiariaZwei and Man of Constant Sorrow asked me over the course of the story if it would include Elsanna. Thoughts?

* * *

We're at an end yet we're only just beginning. Again, thank you. Though this story is now "complete", stay tuned for updates.

P.S. I haven't spoken to some of the individuals mentioned above in over a month. I hope you're all doing alright and miss you.


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